I’m mortified at what I had to do today..

For the first time in the Imperfect Mum history, I have just done something that I never thought I would have to do. Today I have made a formal statement to Qld Police.
Unfortunately the last couple of days I have experienced intense cyber attacks. Naturally I blocked the perpetrator however this person went on to contact my business colleagues and professional contacts.
 
I initially hoped it would die a natural death like most of these “toxic’ situations do, however it has escalated to the point where I sought external advice and reported the complete trail of incidences to the QLD Police and my solicitor.
 
Iincluding full details of the content, the person’s aliases/email addresses and ‘fake’ names. As most of you are aware, creating false identities on Facebook and Twitter is a prohibited act in itself.
 
The QLD Police were fantastic. I spent almost two solid hours with them, presenting all my evidence (which I ensured I kept and saved) and was able to provide the facts to them. I cannot elaborate any further as it now a police matter.
 
I thought it was important to bring this into the public arena due to the fact that this sort of thing happens daily, not just to me or this page, but people in general.
 
These acts were targeted at me, my family’s business and members of the IM community. These acts were slanderous, vicious, and defamatory.
 
I am a grown woman who has endured (like most) a lot of different things on my journey. This page was started by me, and grows through you.
 
Our reach is continuing to grow on a daily basis, our need to moderate and intervene increases, our need to wrap a code of conduct around our actions is warranted and required.
 
I thank the community who continue to support the page under these guidelines.
My family & I were initially concerned and stressed by this behaviour, however over the last 24 hours it has provided a new level of strength and resolve to improve and grow this network.
 
I am somewhat grateful that despite these attacks and words, that I see a new level to move to, a level to intensify, to solidify and to become stronger and greater.
 
The Police provided some great advice and assistance today (given that I wasted two hours of my day handling this issue) and it’s nice to know that these people as well as serving our community, can also support our page.
 
I am writing this to all the IM’s to show how serious I am about providing safety to our community, to me, to my family and the betterment of this page. I will stop at nothing to ensure that behaviour like this ends, and threats towards me are stopped.
 
This kind of toxic behaviour is toxic and it must be stopped.

About the Author

Kristy Vallely is the founder and Creator of the Imperfect Mum.

Kristy believed there needed to be a place that women could go to. Where they could talk and relate. A place they could feel safe. A place they trusted. So The Imperfect Mum was born in June 2011. There was obviously such a need that when the gates 'opened' a huge flurry of women followed. Kristy has always been very passionate about women and the issues they face.

Her passion and determination has helped her carve out a career helping others and creating 'a go to place' for women from all around the world.

Posted in:  Life Lessons

22 Replies

Anita Jones

Luck to you Kristy!!! I have no time for people who live to intimidate, threaten and distress people for no good reason. Heres hoping QLD police have their methods in sorting these issues to the best of their abilities.

Jo Budd

people can be so vile, you have to wonder what the pay off is for these sorts of actions, glad you are all ok and safe, you are so so strong, keep up the good fight, this page is amazing .. thankyou :)

Kathleen Christodoulides

Well done on continuing on. Your page is a support to a lot of women (includin me) and we all appreciate having this page to seek advice etc :-)

Jane @ Hesitant Housewife

Wow, I am so shocked you have had to do this! Just awful. Good on you for standing up and doing something about it. You have created an amazing community and we are all behind you xx

Katrina

Stay safe and strong <3

anne

Good on you for getting some help to resolve this situation. You have done a wonderful thing for us IMs setting up a safe environment for us to seek help. I'm sad for you that you have been treated poorly when you are providing a wonderful service for others to get support. Thank you. And best of luck to you xo

Sharni Dowling

Good for you for taking that hard step. Toxic people need to know they can't get away with their behaviour

Fenella Davidson

I can't believe that people have attacked you and what you do. You provide an amazing support network and help lots of people. I'm glad you stood strong and didn't let the trolls win - those sad small minded idiots could have ruined this brilliant community. I wish you and your family relief, and hope the police bring justice to the perpetrators. You are doing a fantastic job, please keep up the good work - I look forward to reading all the future posts. Stay safe and strong - hugs xx

[email protected]

I just hope that people like this can be tracked and stopped. Hiding behind a computer and causing chaos is such a shallow act. Congratulations on taking this seriously and doing something to protect yourself and the wonderful community you have created. Good Luck :)

Bronnie Marquardt

I'm really sorry you've had to go through this, but glad that the police are able to help you. Good luck xx

Lisa Goddard

Thank you for your page & your showing of strength in such a distressfull sutuation,it's so sad that this sort of thing exists at all, your are an amaizing wonan & example to us all!!! I am honoured to part of this supportive community, may your light n love continue shine bright & lead us to unity!! Loves & support sent your way!! Ox

Rachael Hallam

You are a wonderful mother and we would all be lost without you. Stay strong. xxx

Jodie Moss

I am so sorry you have had to go throughthis. Lots of hugs and know there are many IM's here supporting you

Angie Chamberland

Congratulations on taking a stand. You do a fantastic job and many of us appreciate the hard work and long hours that it takes. xoxo

Loriel

Unfortunately this seems to be a common occurrence in this day and age. It also seems to be a place for "weak bullies" to hide out. I think you have an amazing website that is funny and makes us quirky mums feel normal! Keep standing and I look forward to more positive postings soon!! xoxo

David.sandra Smith

hope you are ok please know that we are here for you and your family :) take care and dont let them win :)

Jayne Grant

What is it with people! I guess it's the immediacy of a response... It's not like snail mail threats and stupidity where you had to write it out, put in an envelope, find a stamp, get it to the post box and then send. A lot of steps giving the opportunity to repeal your words. Now it's just send. Hugs, and may there be a quick and easy to these horrible trolls.

Tashi Witekauha

WOW! I'm sorry you had to go through something like that. I hope you dont have to deal with this on a regular basis. I love your page and it is truely wonderful to see so many lovely people reaching out to eachother. Lots of positive energy, love and joy to you. x

mandaflygirl

Seems to be happening a lot lately Kristy! Cyber bullying is NOT cool. Great that you went to the authorities about it. I love that old adage..."If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"....

Evonne Wylie

I am sorry to hear that you have to go through this. You do an amazing job.You help so many people who otherwise might not seek the assistance they need. Karma will reward the good and not the bad.

Kinga

Hi! Keep strong and stay safe!

Martsw

I have only recently started visiting your wonderful site and can't believe I didn't read this earlier! I don't understand bullying anywhere- especially here where I am so impressed with what you share and the support it gives to others mums out there! I don't get it... trolls can easily click to leave if they don't agree with something they read. It gives insight into how vulnerable our kids are when a strong, resourceful woman needs to go to the police... It also provides a great example and inspiration to know you can take control of this situation and persist until it's sorted. Thanks!