My thoughts on Judgement - Yes that evil word.

I will start with this quote (not sure of the author):

Judging someone does not define the person they are. It defines the person you are.

Judgement to me has always been an enemy – can’t stand it. But hey! saying that I am human, I am an animal, and animals categorize it’s apart of our makeup.

We quickly need to work out who is friend and who is foe. So of course I will never stand here and say I don’t, although it’s something I am working on, it’s a part of my growth as a human.

My childhood taught me a thing or two about judgement, I grew up in a rural fishing town. There were bikies, fishermen, very wealthy people, drug addicts it was a very diverse and rich culture.

My parents ran a slip way (refitting boats) one of thier workers was an alcoholic. He lived in a caravan on their property. Dad used to have to wake him up for work.

He was perceived to be “ho-bo”, people would often dismiss him. But in actual fact he was extremely clever, extremely intuitive, and an exceptional worker you could trust him with your life.

Another man in our town would walk around with no shoes, un-brushed hair and holes in his shorts.  He was very unassuming but in fact he was one of the wealthiest people I have ever come across.

Then there were other people that “acted” like proper citizens and they were the scum of the earth.

This taught me at a very young age that you CAN NOT EVER look at someone and assume you know them or their path.  You have never walked in their shoes.

You have no freaking idea what their childhood was like, it may have been completely different to yours. Hence the reason they may look and talk different to you.

The fact is, no matter where you come from, or how wealthy you are, we are all still human, we all have frailties. This is a FACT.

During my journey of endeavoring to be more discerning and being less judgmental has changed the person I am, it has opened many doors.

I challenge you to do the same it may just change your life.

About the Author

Kristy Vallely is the founder and Creator of the Imperfect Mum.

Kristy believed there needed to be a place that women could go to. Where they could talk and relate. A place they could feel safe. A place they trusted. So The Imperfect Mum was born in June 2011. There was obviously such a need that when the gates 'opened' a huge flurry of women followed. Kristy has always been very passionate about women and the issues they face.

Her passion and determination has helped her carve out a career helping others and creating 'a go to place' for women from all around the world.

Posted in:  Life Lessons, Mental Health

7 Replies

Heidi Clark

Awesome! A challenge that I can easily accept, and will endeavour to implore others to do the same :)

The Imperfect Mum

Thanks Heidi - You're just a beautiful spirit. I am so glad you're on this journey with me! XX

Jess WhoaMamma

I absolutely agree, sweetheart. We should never assume anything about anyone. What we see on the outside doesn't necessarily reflect what is inside. It's true, the way we judge others says more about us than those being judged. x

The Imperfect Mum

Thanks Jess.. X


Kristy, you put a smile on my face whenever you blog. Thank you. You are a voice for many of us out in cyberspace. Miss seeing that happy face & kind hello each morning. Hope you are going well on your journey!

The Imperfect Mum

Ohhh Thank YOU beautiful. What a lovely message, you just put a smile on my dial. xx

Kelly De Vries

Ah Judging.... such a tough one!
Thank you Kristy for this insight into your childhood and where you learnt to be such a unjudging person! Appreciate it!

Such an important lesson to be teaching our young ones in their early life too. My son use to come home talking about this or that child, saying "He's the naughty kid!!" and writing people off.
I try to remind him that tomorrow, that boy may wake and decide that he is going to change - but if we have all labelled him 'naughty' before he even has a chance, then how hard would that be for him?!?!?!

No one here is perfect. Lets not cast stones!! :-) x