Just recently I found myself slipping back into depression, depression comes in the form of being ‘pushed down’ and a dark cloud comes over. It’s like it just appears out of t he blue.
It’s very hard to see clearly and to lift the feeling of sadness. It can be very lonely and it feels like you are ‘in a corner’ by yourself, it’s a very dark and awful place to be.
I think the important thing to remember when you are in that “dark place” is one thing you know for sure is that it will end, the feeling will eventually go away.
I think the the scariest part is that you feel so down it’s really hard to see yourself getting out. The best way for me to explain would be a visual picture, It’s like your down a hole and it’s dark and there is no way to climb out.
Sometimes that feeling is suffocating.
As soon as the I feel myself being dragged down the ‘hole’ I try to look objectively at the situation and utilise some tools that help me i.e Meditation, Acts of Self Care Self Love etc.
As most of you know I was taking Anti-depressants for over 12 months. So I have nothing against them, I think they were something that helped me during that time of my life.
However, I will do anything in my power not to go back on them again. I would rather fix the root of the problem rather than apply “a bandaid fix” That’s how I see it for me personally. I know a lot of people out there need antidepressants to just survive. So I don’t want to discount that.
I am on a mission to work out what my triggers are. I am consuming books, I am researching, anything to help work out why I end up in that dark hole.
I want to raise awareness and understanding, by talking about my story I hope that by sharing my story empower other to seek help. If you think you may be suffering from this illness check out Beyondblue.
Do you suffer from depression? What does it look like to you? Do you have tools that help you fight it?