I hated having a ‘baby’ - There I said it!

I really didn’t enjoy the baby stage.  I loved the ‘idea’ of having a baby. I love the pictures that come to your mind,  babies sleeping, cooing and smiling.

I look back at photos and i’m filled with love.  But… BUT if you asked if I enjoyed that stage.

You would be greeted with.. A big resounding NO!

I remember sitting on the couch with this new born baby on my lap, completely ALONE, and overwhelmed.

I did not think that having a baby would be so hard.

I did not think I would stop being invited out by friends.

I did not think breastfeeding would be so hard.

I did not think I would have to ‘book in’ sex with my husband.

I did not think my babies cry would render me useless.

I did not think ‘the job’ would be 27 hours a day.  - Yes, 27, not 24!

I did not think I would stay in my pj’s all day.

I did not think I would be so busy feeding, changing, feeding, feeding that I would not have time to make dinner.

I did not think that I would be so busy.

I did not think the house would be so messy.

I did not think there would be so much guilt attached.

I did not think I would never leave the couch.

I did not think it would take an hour to leave the house.

I did not think I would permanently smell like vomit.

I did not think that by the time you got to sleep your baby would wake AGAIN!!

I did not think…..

About the Author

Kristy Vallely is the founder and Creator of the Imperfect Mum.

Kristy believed there needed to be a place that women could go to. Where they could talk and relate. A place they could feel safe. A place they trusted. So The Imperfect Mum was born in June 2011. There was obviously such a need that when the gates 'opened' a huge flurry of women followed. Kristy has always been very passionate about women and the issues they face.

Her passion and determination has helped her carve out a career helping others and creating 'a go to place' for women from all around the world.

Posted in:  Parenthood Guilt, Baby & Toddler

35 Replies


I HEAR YOU SISTER!! I have a 6 week old (and a 6 year old and 15mth old) and while I love them all with everything I have... Babies are hard!!! Good on you for admitting it! xx

The Imperfect Mum

Thanks Jaimee. Sending you love! XX


Its hard! i had a premmie with super bad projectile vomiting reflux, he would scream for hours on end and i would pace the hallways all hours of the night. feeds, vomits and more feeds. I look back at the photos and am also filled with love but see myself as a pale sleepless ghost! I hated pregnancy, i hated the first 4 months of his life but loved him to death at the same time?!? and you know what! I'd still do it again.

The Imperfect Mum

Yep, I would too! XX

Used to love reading this....

It really is just all about you isn't it.

The Imperfect Mum

Ha ha, YEP! - It's a blog about me. SO YEP!

Crystal Plowman

LOL! Of course it is about the writer...ha ha ha! Great piece by the way gorgeous x

The Imperfect Mum

Thanks Crystal xxx


I imagine she would find it pretty hard and not overly fact based to be writing about it from the baby's point of view. She is writing about her journey as a mother, of course it's going to be about her. Kudos to her for being honest enough not to paint it with a rose tint.

The Imperfect Mum

Thanks Claire! XX

Tegan Drayton

Thank you! I feel so guilty for feeling like that, but you have made me feel a lot better knowing I'm not the only one who does not enjoy the baby stage.

The Imperfect Mum

Don't be! - I'm loving my kids stage now (4.5yrs and 7) you probably will too! XXX

Kiah Warner

Good on you for being honest Xxo

The Imperfect Mum

Thanks Kiah. X

Danielle Campbell

so true it is not all its cracked up to be yes its worth it but no i did not enjoy all of the above lol

The Imperfect Mum

Yes, its certainly worth it! X


Agreed! The only bonus about the baby part is if you put them down... They say there!!!

The Imperfect Mum

ha ha - yes, they do! XX


Well said, agree totally having just had number 4 and a 7 year gap I had forgotten (pushed to some far off reach) all those things you mentioned. Makes you wonder why we keep going back. And of course we love them <3

The Imperfect Mum

Of course! - we love and cherish them! - Wouldn't be without them. xx

Mumsy & bubsy

So we have to hear how much you hated it but god forbid you listened to someone who tried their hardest to accomplish daily tasks AND yet managed to love their experience. Wouldn't call them a perfect mum , just very lucky and good on them .

The Imperfect Mum

Yes, certainly! - Good on them. Good point!


LOVE hearing about 'normal' motherhood rather than perfect motherhood. Thank you!! :)

The Imperfect Mum

Thanks Kylie xx


I agree, I thought having a baby would come so natural to me and I would just know what to do! Who wrong I was......

The Imperfect Mum

Yeah me too! - I always thought It would come naturally to me too! X

Cynthia Slattery

I have to admit - I loved the baby stage and had a pretty easy time of it. It's what happened after that ... I've always thought before you get pregnant you need to have a "work experience" week to see what you're really in for! Wouldn't change it for the world, but my God, what hard work it is!

The Imperfect Mum

Yes, Cynthia I agree. I love my little cherubs so much. But god, it was hard work xx


at least you had the opportunity to have a baby


at least you had the opportunity to have a baby


Oh for goodness sake, would you say this to someone in person? I would assume not, so why say it here? All it is is attention seeking, you aren't the only one who can't.

kirri white

I loved the baby stage - but I also cried and fretted more in those first two years than in any time of my life. I think part of the sleep deprivation and mental fatigue is so we eventually forget ....otherwise we just might not go there again!

The Imperfect Mum

Yes! Very true!


I did love holding and nursing a baby (the second time around more so than the first - urgh the first!) but certainly did not enjoy pregnancy, especially the second time around as compared to the first) Now my two girls, my babies are my pride and joy and the best thing I ever did make! lol

Jean Jobson

totally agree! although i knew what i was in for my age is the "toddler" stage
i cant stand the constant fighting, destroying and tantrums/meltdowns that i have gotten from my son and now princess is entering it
but ive got 2 almost through it im sure 1 more wont hurt me :P