10 Reasons I’m Still Married

I’ve been married to my husband for 10 years today, Married 10, together 20. We’re often told how lucky we are, I think that’s a load of shit, we not lucky we just work bloody hard to keep our shit together. Here’s what we do.

1) We have fun and don’t take ourselves to seriously
We enjoy each others company and we enjoy having fun, we dance, we sing, we act silly, we take the piss out of each other. We are friends and we act like it.

2) We do our own thing
Just because we are married doesn’t mean we naturally like the same things. We allow each other space to follow our own interests.

3) We are loyal to each other
We have a deep loyalty to each other. And just knowing we have each others back makes our relationship secure and strong. We are a team and we tackle every situation as one.

4) We give each other high 5′s
Whenever we succeed in something we literally give each other a high 5 and we always make sure we compliment each other on a job well done.

5 )We respect each other
We treat each other with up-most respect. We may not always agree with each other but we do choose to respectfully disagree. We are our kids biggest mentors and by treating each other with respect we are teaching our kids to do the same.

6) We’re committed to work through the hard shit
We have loads of ups and downs but we are committed to each other and our marriage. Shits hard, life’s hard and sometimes we get thrown curve balls and sometimes we may even want to throw a ball at each others face *jokes* No seriously, sometimes it’s difficult being in a relationship with someone you live with day in, day out. But we decided a long time ago that we are committed to working through those times.

7) We trust each other
We trust our love and know deep within us that nothing would ever come between that. This has come with time, In my younger years (in my teenage-hood through to mid 20′s) I found it difficult to completely trust however as I grew and learnt and I realised that a mistrust can do more damage than anything. So over the years I have taught myself to completely trust our love and being loyal and treating each other with respect naturally results in trust.

8) We make time for each other
We make sure we ‘catch up’ we talk about our week, we talk about things we want to do. We just talk and talk.. Sometimes it’s difficult to fit each other in (especially when the kids are still little) but we make sure we do. Cracks start to surface the moment we don’t hang out for awhile.

9) We respect that we are different
He sometimes needs his man-cave time and I sometimes over-think things. We accept that we are very different from each other and we respect and honor that.

10) We’re best mates
Ben is my best friend and I treat him that way, I greet him with a smile and a hug like I would a friend. I share with him my deepest concerns like I would a friend. I share my happy moments like I would a friend. I talk to him using a pleasant tone of voice (mostly) *wink* like I would a friend.

What about you? please share what you do to keep your shit together.

Kristy xx

P.S Happy Anniversary to my very best friend Ben. xx

About the Author

Kristy Vallely is the founder and Creator of the Imperfect Mum.

Kristy believed there needed to be a place that women could go to. Where they could talk and relate. A place they could feel safe. A place they trusted. So The Imperfect Mum was born in June 2011. There was obviously such a need that when the gates 'opened' a huge flurry of women followed. Kristy has always been very passionate about women and the issues they face.

Her passion and determination has helped her carve out a career helping others and creating 'a go to place' for women from all around the world.

Posted in:  Life Lessons, Relationships & Marriage

19 Replies


Thats really nice Babe... xx Cherie

The Imperfect Mum

Thanks darlin girl xxx


My hubby and I are do similar things to you and your hubby.
Just knowing and respecting that we are both different makes being in the relationship easier.

The Imperfect Mum

So true darl xx

Emma Axtell

My hubby and I have been together 20 years in sep and married 10 years back in April. I'd agree 100% with everything you said, though I honestly believe it is 2,3,5,6 & 7 that are the clinchers! That stuff matters. If you can not be yourself, trust, respect each other and be committed to do the haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard yards than you are both wasting each others time. That what I say to people who ask us 'how' we do it. lol Happy Anniversary! :)

The Imperfect Mum

Oh, so true!! So many haaaaaaaaaaard yards!! Congrats to you guys too!! Xx

Sharne wheeler

i agree with everything you have written. relationships dont just happen, they require work compromise and sometimes sacrifice. I truly think the most important part of a relationship is that our partners are not only our partners but as you said our best friends. The one person you have no secrets from and no insecurities with. That you feel they complete you. Congratulations on being one the increasingly few that reach such an occasion as being together for 20 years.

The Imperfect Mum

Beautifully written Sharne. I agree with every word!!!

Lee Alexander

Congratulations!! Love what you have written here. xx

The Imperfect Mum

Thanks Lee xx


That's a lovely testament to your relationship and each other. Congratulations x

The Imperfect Mum

Thanks Fen xx

Belinda @ Save Mum's Sanity

You've totally nailed what it takes to live and grow happily together and you're so right, this 'aint easy! Congratulations to you both! Hope you had a great child-free night!! xx

The Imperfect Mum

Thanks Belinda, we had such a beautiful night! X

Carol-ann Hardy

Love it! My partner and I have been together 11 years and we try to do the same things you've listed. I find my friends having difficulty at times with their relationships and say to me gosh you're so lucky, i am but we work hard to make our relationship what it is. Thank you for sharing this! Happy Anniversary! xx

Melani Lavington

I love everything you say about relationships I ask my hubby remind me why i chose you xx


Happy anniversary! We just had our ten year anniversary in May. I agree, it's not always easy and we're certainly not perfect, but we do work at our relationship. In addition to all your top tips, I would say we don't 'scorekeep', we always speak positively about each other to other people, and, as you mentioned, we treat each other as a friend so always speak nicely to each other. Hope you get to celebrate this special occasion with some time out together x

Kellie Abel

Lovely! I needed to read something like that as my husband & I are going through haaaaaaaarrrddd times now..........thank you

Rachel Casey

I really love this and am going to use this in my relationship. We get so caught up with work, running a household and catching up with family & friends that we forget to allocate time to us. You have made me realise how important it is. Thanks Kristy!!