Living in an Ivory Tower

Living in an Ivory Tower.  Doesn’t it sound lovely.  It’s a place where everything is perfect, black and white and without a hint of grey.

It’s a place where you’re safe.  Cozy, warm and surrounded by beautiful things. Everything is soft, luxurious and at your finger tips.

There are a pair of rose-tinted glasses at every window.  So when you look out the window, nothing hurts your eyes.  You don’t see the whole picture, just half. Of course there is only a half to every story..OF COURSE!

There’s also a beautiful white horse waiting at the bottom of the stairs, it’s there for you.. For you, and for you only!

There are gloves – white ones of course.  As it’s just too hard to get your hands dirty.. Everything needs to be protected.

Living in an Ivory Tower is not where I reside nor do I want to!

I’m not going to jump on my white horse and gallop through the town chanting “I’m here I will fix everything”.  No, I won’t because that’s NOT REAL!

NOTHING is black and white.  Shit isn’t easy.  If you want to help, if you want to make a difference, get out of your stupid tower, take off those rose tinted glasses and for christ’s sake take those off those gloves.

It’s so easy to sit in your Ivory Tower and say ohh it’s simple “just do this”.  Well if it were that simple our society wouldn’t be experiencing such terrible, awful, disgusting things like child abuse, neglect and the likes.

Our problem in our society is we are experiencing an apathy epidemic.  We’re too busy living in our Ivory Towers.

You see,  people don’t want to live like this.  They don’t want to see their neighbour abuse their children. They want to live in an Ivory tower too.

I may not do things perfectly, actually I fuck shit up daily, And i’m certainly nothing special.  And I may run on a fine line of what is right and what is wrong (in some people’s eyes) however please don’t point your finger at me.

UNLESS you’ve taken off your white gloves, gotten off your high horse, realise we don’t live in a perfect world, and have actually put yourself forward to POSITIVELY contribute to the lives of others and hopefuly make our community just that little bit better.

I believe listening with a compassionate ear will help.  It will change things.. Pointing from your ivory tower will not!

I’m so over dealing with “this”.  And just finishing..   Thanks to all the beautiful I.M’s that choose not to reside in the Ivory Tower you make my life a hell of a lot easier.

About the Author

Kristy Vallely is the founder and Creator of the Imperfect Mum.

Kristy believed there needed to be a place that women could go to. Where they could talk and relate. A place they could feel safe. A place they trusted. So The Imperfect Mum was born in June 2011. There was obviously such a need that when the gates 'opened' a huge flurry of women followed. Kristy has always been very passionate about women and the issues they face.

Her passion and determination has helped her carve out a career helping others and creating 'a go to place' for women from all around the world.

Posted in:  Life Lessons

15 Replies

Melbourne Mum

Love it, Imperfect Mum. I'm still bummed that you took the domain name I wanted, though (guess that's why you're posts resonate with me?)

The Imperfect Mum

Ha ha - Really? I like your name sounds rather classy.. XX - Actually I read one of yours the other day. The car park mafia type one..


Very over the constant crtisicim from other people and every body's 'get ahead attitude. It feels like so many people don't care about others and will do whatever they need to do to look after their own turf. What happened to 'it takes a village to raise a child'

The Imperfect Mum

Ohhh I'm with you ALL THE WAY!! - Where the bloody hell did that Village go.. There are way too many ivory towers now.. FFS.. XX

Ashleigh Gardner-Thomas

Yes, (as always) I agree Kristy! What a world we could create if only we could climb down from our ivory towers!
But sometimes I'm not so sure there are so many ivory towers, just a lot of people desperate to give the impression they live in one...Im sure behind all those pristine whilt front doors, their home is the same as yours or mine. Sad to say that the purpose of the ivory tower is to make oneself feel better at the expense of others.
But you should know that your voice (and in that 'our voices') are being heard! So many IM's know exactly your vision & love it whole heartedly! Thank you! xo

The Imperfect Mum

Ohh Ashleigh you are so VERY RIGHT! - You hit the nail on the head. Thanks so much for all of your support. XX


I fuck up daily too :)

The Imperfect Mum

Ha ha - Good to hear.


Love this post.The thing is if people did get off their high horse and help they would find they get such beautiful joy from helping others.
When I help out at the nursing home mum is in I can not tell you how great it feels.To see a smile come on a lonely old person face when they see you or when you help them or when you take the time to have a simple chat.Nothing extraordinary.But oh the feeling you get in return lights up your heart.
Hopefully your wonderful post will get many out and helping others so they can get to feel the joy of giving.Our time cost us nothing.
Thankyou for reminding us all the importance of thinking of others.xx

The Imperfect Mum

Ohh Deby that's so lovely I could picture this and it gave me a smile. Good on you we are so lucky to have people like you in this world.

Jennifer Morgan

You already know how I feel about those Ivory tower people!!! Good on you x

Jennifer Morgan

You already know how I feel about those Ivory Tower people!! Good on you :)

The Imperfect Mum

Thanks So Much Jennifer - I love having you here. X

Heidi Clark

Glad I'm not the only one who fucks shit up on a daily basis :D I simply don't get how so many ppl can be so narrow/closed minded and judgemental. Hell I have opinions on so many things but the big difference between me & them is that I RESPECT there differences and "encourage" them to see things from a different point of view rather than condemn, ridicule or mock them.

Fiona Channells

If more people though like you Kristy, the world would be a much better place. I find it personally so rewarding to have long ago jumped from that ivory tower and now listen with a open heart as well as having an open ear. As a result I have seen the negative people leave my life and some new and beautiful people enter it, of which I count you as one. I am a much more peaceful and happier person for it and can't recommend it more highly to others than to loose the judgement and see people through their eyes and be more accepting. Empathy is a beautiful thing!!!