Should I be ashamed of taking Anti Depressants?

I have had this question going through my mind over and over and over. 

Should I share? Should I keep this to myself?

I have many friends/colleagues/ business associates that read my blog so would it be silly of me to share such private information?

I then went on question myself.  Well is that being completely honest?  Or is it half a truth? Is it half a story?  I thought further, I delved deeper.  Why would I not tell people?

Was it the fear of being judged? Was it the fear of not being good enough? Was it the fear that people wouldn’t  think I’m “cookoo”?  Was it the fear that people may think I’m weak?

A voice within me said “You must share” Why hide from the truth?”  ”Don’t try to be something you’re not”.

“Don’t let the pressure of what people think keep you from telling the truth”.

It’s actually something I really believe in.. Truth that is.. I’m not going to pretend I live in a perfect world.  That shit doesn’t exist.

I wake up every day and I believe that you have a choice, of course you do. You can choose.  But sometimes you need help and sometimes you need to choose that.

Upon reflection and… and actually I think I did know at the time that The Imperfect Mum fb page was sort of taking over…  I would spend hours upon hours moderating the page.  Pulling people into line..

There has been domestic violence issues where I had to ring the police.  There has been child abuse allegations.  This shit is real, it happens every day but my problem was I was taking it on. – (And I now know issues like these need to be dealt with professionals which i’m not).

When issues would arise my body would go tense,  I would forget to breath, I would be riddled with pins and needles.  This was nearly on an everyday bases I was taking on everyone else’s “stuff” I was carrying it around. It was weighing very heavy on me.

My husband lost me for about 6 months.. and I sort of lost myself.. So that’s when I took myself off to the doc’s and that’s when we both decided it was best for me to take them.
They have helped, they are certainly different to how they are perceived..

I’m certainly not saying “it’s the thing to do”  and it’s certainly not for everyone.

It’s like a bit of a band-aid fix.   With the help of my coach Kirr White I am slowly making some major changes which include an array of things including  puting paremetres around the Imperfect Mum fb page, exercise, diet,  meditation, some rituals to calm me .. If I don’t I’m not going to be any use to anyone.

Taking anti-depressants is  not a long term thing for me,  but its right for me right now.

So there you go, maybe an overshare for some, but you know what, I will tell you how it is and that’s how it is right now.

I will hold my head high.  You know why?

“Because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

Do you need to re-think the way your living? Do you need to simplify?


About the Author

Kristy Vallely is the founder and Creator of the Imperfect Mum.

Kristy believed there needed to be a place that women could go to. Where they could talk and relate. A place they could feel safe. A place they trusted. So The Imperfect Mum was born in June 2011. There was obviously such a need that when the gates 'opened' a huge flurry of women followed. Kristy has always been very passionate about women and the issues they face.

Her passion and determination has helped her carve out a career helping others and creating 'a go to place' for women from all around the world.

Posted in:  Life Lessons, Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression, Self Care

42 Replies


I too am taking them at the moment, while I don't tell everyone that I am, my friends do. They are the ones that help support me so I share. We all need to do what we have to do to get through the day. I have young children and the way I was I was no good to them. They help and I to don't plan to stay on them forever but it is what I need for now.

The Imperfect Mum

Me too Cat - It' just for now. I will work things out! X


Your honesty is awesome! You have nothing to be ashamed of - in fact you should be proud - you recognized when things weren't as they should be and you are doing what you need to do to fix them! Thankyou for sharing your story x

The Imperfect Mum

Thank YOU Jemma - lovely kind words! X

Stacey Mcmillan

What a great blog post. I too take anti depressants. Joining the band wagon here...:)
I have been on them for many years, and will probably be on them for many more. I need them, well my brain does in the way that we take vitamins for our bodies health, I take my pills for my brains health, and if it makes me capable of getting through the day and functioning then I Am ALL for it.

The Imperfect Mum

Great analogy Stacey! - Very true.. XX XX

Lindy Kay

I have been taking anti depressants for about 12 years, I know I cannot live without them, sometimes I think I can but in reality I need them to control my emotions, not stop them but just calm them. I whole heartedly approve of them, some people need them more than others. I am not a loony I am a professional I am a counsellor and I work in a very stressful industry. The world of disability, is much harder than a lot of people imagine, and without going to great depth I do take on their issues but I also help resolve them, so it becomes a happy medium. I have tried coming off my happy pills as I call them but within a few days I am a blubbering mess, that's when I feel not good enough and depressed and revert to being a victim and yes I have contemplated the other alternative. It's a side of me I do not like so I go back on them and everything is normal again. I have no qualms about telling people. I have nothing to hide if people need to be told then I tell them.

The Imperfect Mum

Good on you for sharing! - I could imagine working in that sort of industry would be very stressful.

We need people like you Linda. XX


It is certainly nothing to be ashamed of so hold your head up high, you wouldn't take them if you didn't need them so obviously your body needs them at the moment. Take care of yourself as your family need you xx

The Imperfect Mum

Thanks my love, don't worry i'm working on it! X

Jackie Fairfull

Not an overshare - but then again I am sharing my own story with the world, so nothing is off limits for me at the moment! Good on you Kristy cos it is hard admitting this when you have such a following and even though you are an "imperfect mum" there are probably some expectations placed on you either by yourself or others...who knows - only you....

Anti-depressants are long term for me - like most likely the rest of my life. BUT, I know that they help clear my head so that I can deal with the shit that comes my way.... they are very different to popular perceptions, but it comes down to how each individual reacts to specific medications and doses.

Meditation is da bomb! Keep that up. Yoga really helps me too so highly recommend that as well if you're not already doing it!

Much love to you Kristy on this journey, keep that head up and keep talking about it - sharing our stories brings us one step closer to better understanding and less judgment surrounding mental illnesses....

Big hugs from Jacks (a.k.a Mummy in Disguise!)

The Imperfect Mum

Ok love, good to hear yoga works well. Maybe I should give it a whirl..

Thank You for sharing your journey love, the more honest we are the better the world will be huh! X


No, you shouldn't be. Depression may be situational, but the chemical situation it creates in your brain IS a medical condition that sometimes needs medication. It just does. I have a shocking predisposition towards depression... my life can be seemingly great but my brain tells me otherwise. I have required medication a few times in my life, and it has been helpful (especially with other supports) but I have now been off meds for about 6years. You use the medication when you need to, then move on with life when you don't. No different from treating cancer or thyroid problems etc.

The Imperfect Mum

Thanks Cari - You're so very right. I think the more we discuss that it is a chemical imbalance the more people will understand.

Sending you love!


Thank you do much for sharing. It takes a lot of guts to come out and admit that you're not coping and that you need help!

There is a horrible stigma associated with ADs which I hope one day will be gone. There is no difference between taking ADs to keep your mood stable to taking insulin to keep your blood sugar levels normal.

All the best with your journey!


The Imperfect Mum

Thanks Emily - Yes, I agree there is a awful stigma attached. It's very sad really.

I suppose the more we speak the more people will listen.


Kathy lawton

I had post natal depression with my 1st and went on them after my second I have been on them for 11 years as childbirth changes the balance in our brain making us hormonal i was hormonal 3 weeks out of the month the balance usually goes back to normal within 2 years of giving child birth but mine never did it was putting a strain on our marrage so i have stayed on them i am on the higest dose and have tried to go off them
my doctor now tells me i have been taking them for too long and can never come off them which is disapointing as they cost $40 a month
And i hate taking them but i guess a quality life is better than feeling sad all the time
and i feel good on them
I would just like to say if you do decide to go off them make sure you do it slowly and under a doctors orders as it can be dangerous to come off quickly and can cauce suicide.

The Imperfect Mum

Yes. Good point Kathy of course there's a process that needs to be followed. Thanks for sharing. X

Jane @ Hesitant Housewife

Thank you for sharing Kristy. I'm sorry you have been having such a rough time, and I am so glad that you sought help when you realised you needed it. I think it's so important to be honest and open about this type of thing. I have written about it before, i have clinical depression and have been on antidepressants for a number of years. I am also a diabetic, and take insulin, something that I am not ashamed of in the slightest, yet admitting that I take medication for depression is so difficult and I too fear being judged. The more people who talk about this, the less stigma there will be, and eventually everyone will see depression/anxiety as just another illness, and anti depressants as just another treatment. Again, THANK YOU, for being so brave xx

The Imperfect Mum

Thanks so much Jane. And so very true. I think the more of us that admit to taking medication the better our world will be... Less stigma is so important.

Lee Alexander

I have found that anti-depressants are fabulous to give me some space in my head to think things through. I also think that it's better to hit it early than wait until absolute crisis point.
If you had asthma that required ventolin would you have thought so hard about whether or not you would tell people?
Good on you for acting and for sharing. No such thing as over sharing in my book. xx

The Imperfect Mum

Thanks Lee. So very true. I could feel it coming and I'm very glad I got onto it before it became worse.


I recently went through the same thoughts and emotions when thinking about whether to post about my daughter's mental illness. I was worried about whether I'd be oversharing but I wanted to protect her from judgement to free up any stigma attached to the illness. In the end I think truth wins everytime. Well done for being brave!

The Imperfect Mum

Yes Truth does win EVERY TIME! - Thanks love!


Oh gosh. Ive been on anti Ds for years. With two young kids, the doc suggests its best to stay on them for awhile. I hate taking panadol. But sometimes we need help. It comes in many forms...counselling, natural, pills, etc. We need to do what works for ourselves at least until we are ready to try something else. And we should NEVER feel ashamed of trying to look after matter which way we do it. Look after yourself in whichever way works for you right now. Take care and remember, there are a lot of 'us' out there and I know that because of you.

The Imperfect Mum

Very True Pauline - Good point!


The more people that speak out, the more acceptable it becomes. I have taken SSRI's or their relatives for some time now, and have not always disclosed this but often have. This year I had treatment for breast cancer and found the difference in reaction interesting. It's so much more legitimate to have an aliment that is not mental. With cancer, people know what do say. I'm so sorry, how can I help, what I can do. We need the same reaction to mental illness as we do to any other. What can I do, how can I help.

The Imperfect Mum

So True Kate. It is certainly an issue that the wider community needs to discuss.. Hence the reason for me finding it so important to share my journey! X


I was on AD's for a few years to help me - and without them, my journey would have been much longer, much harder and my family would have suffered. As I said to someone who commented negatively on them - when you have a headache, you take panadol. When you are sick, you take antibiotics. Why is there not a stigma for people taking anxiety medication? Or high blood pressure medication? Why is there a stigma then for AD's??? You are on the right track of addressing the issues in your life which are causing the trouble - and you are being more open about these and your struggle at the moment. Do not feel ashamed for taking medication which is helping you. Feel proud that you are drawing awareness to mental illness. You never know who you might be helping - apart from yourself. xx

The Imperfect Mum

Yes Cynthia, I agree. Awareness is soooo important!

Kirri White

Kristy....I truly believe that the first step in creating the life that you desire begins in a place of self-awareness, reflection and acceptance. Sometimes we need to take stock, strip things back and rebuild and that doesn't just require commitment from ourselves, but external support, (including medication when needed). I love your courage and the way that you highlight these issues, not just because you are a truth seeker, but because you have a desire to affirm and support others x

The Imperfect Mum

Ohh What a beautiful comment Kirri - No wonder I love YOU!

Jane Corbett

yeah i agree. said beautifully


you have no reason to be ashamed hun - as already said be proud - you are not the only one - I am currently taking anti depressants and anti anxiety meds due to post traumatic stress disorder after my young daughter had a major accident last year - my family needs me and as with everything they come first - I am no good to them without a bit of help at the moment

The Imperfect Mum

Yep, I'm hearing you! XX


Love this article! Thank you for your honesty. I was made to feel like a bad mum for wanting pain relief during labour- the midwife told me I needed to suck it up and many women before me have done it without pain relief why can't I! Well I was shattered for awhile but then I realised- no I'm not a terrible mum for wanting pain relief, it's there for a reason, I wasn't coping what is wrong with asking for help? NOTHING! At the end of the day, a happy mum makes a happy baby and a happy family... Do what you need to and be proud of the fact that you are doing everything possible to keep yourself happy and healthy. Why is that anything to be ashamed of?

Easy Peasy Kids

Never be ashamed of who you are..... Unless you are hurting someone.

BiG Hugs lovely Nx


I too take anti-depressants which is hard to admit, but nothing to be ashamed of. Those of us who ask for help should hold our heads up for being able to recognise that we are not perfect and that perhaps we need a helping hand to get through the rough patches we all go through.
Thanks for more wonderful honesty xx.

Tara @ Mum-ments

You've given me the nudge i need to go to my doctor and ask for help
I am not in a good place I havnt been since Easter monday since that horrible day and I am so ashamed of the things ive said, done & thought.
Thankyou for sharing, thankyou for giving me the strength
And i think I may even go have a bit more of a peek over at the gorgeous Kirris page and see if she cant help me too.
Love you to bits gorgeous
You are definitatly not alone, we'll take this journey together

Skye Rothwell
Skye Rothwell

thank you for being honest and sharing. depression is a hard thing to deal with, antidepressants can become long term though its up to the doctor and yourself to decide if the brains serotonin is up to needed levels before stopping them. :-)

i love your site and fb page, its such a relief of late for me to read others issues with life.

Jane Corbett

hi,i really loved this article because yes. i adnit it, i too, take antidepressants every day.
i was diagnosed with a mental illness about 12 years ago and have taken medication everyday ... and now i am a single mum. at times i find it a struggle but i'd stress to people to keep on taking their meds and look after themselves for their kids
also i'ma strong beliwver in removing the stigma attatched to mental illness. na gas a campain "like minds like mine " which is great.