Questions not to ask on “The Imperfect Mum”

  • Legal Questions: This also includes advice on how to get custody, how to get Child support Payments, How to change Surnames of children etc. These type questions would best be answered by a lawyer / Solicitor.For legal questions, try here!


  • Medical Questions: If you have a health concern please make an appointment with your doctor.  We don't mind if you ask for comforting advice (after you've seen a doctor) but please don't ask direct medical type questions on here.  Ring 1300health or, try here!

  • Centrelink Questions: I know, sitting on the phone with them can take a long time – but it is the best way to get accurate answers to your specific questions. Or try their helpful website here!

  • Competitions and causes: We can not post baby competitions or advertisements for your fundraising effort or business. We just get too many of these through! Feel free to post these (once only) on the fb wall though for the other mums to help out there…


About the Author

Kristy Vallely is the founder and Creator of the Imperfect Mum.

Kristy believed there needed to be a place that women could go to. Where they could talk and relate. A place they could feel safe. A place they trusted. So The Imperfect Mum was born in June 2011. There was obviously such a need that when the gates 'opened' a huge flurry of women followed. Kristy has always been very passionate about women and the issues they face.

Her passion and determination has helped her carve out a career helping others and creating 'a go to place' for women from all around the world.

Posted in:  FAQ

12 Replies


Just thanx so much for your time, consideration, compassion and yes even rules. We wouldn't be a civil society without them. Much love girls xx

Kelly De Vries

Thanks Cherie! Appreciated! xKelly

Ashly Nichole Peterson

Hmm, so what can we ask? I'm sure 90% of all imperfect mum questions would have already been asked and answered in the faq, and everything else can't be discussed. Doesn't seem to be much point in posting any questions at all. I'm quite sad and disappointed by how many "offlimit" things you won't discuss anymore. Granted it is your page, but some of these offlimit questions have really helped me - such as the removal of my implanon after reading the horrific experiences that other people have had that have mirrored my own response to that device. I'm now implanon free and look forward to going back to being a normal person. I don't want to seem bitchy but really kind of seems to be like there are no worthy questions worth asking anymore let alone anything being posted that is worthwhile. This is hands down one of my most favorite pages out there because of all the "offlimit" questions that get asked and a lot of us can relate even if we didn't ask the question. Very sad and left scratching my head why?

Kelly De Vries

Hi Ashly, Kelly here.
We've been discussing this on the facebook page and I really recommend, if in doubt - just ask! Kristy and I endeavor to reply to every message and will let you know if we can't repost or if it needs to be reworded.
Medical ones will really be assessed on an individual basis as it really is a fine line to what is ok - mainly based on the responses too. One of my greatest fears is that people will treat themselves without seeking professional advice, just because something did / didn't work for someone else.
As for why - it is to ease the heavy burden that Kristy has had to carry for a while. The fear that her page will be shut down due to incorrect information being given out or worse, someone getting into serious trouble because of ill-given advice.
These 'rules' have kinda been in play for a while now, and many of these question have been turned away already - this post was more created to make it publicly known that professional help needs to be given by professionals.
Hope this has helped? xKelly


The HERE link in FAQs doesn't work!

Kelly De Vries

Oops! My bad! Had finished this page, before finishing the F.A.Q's and forgot to link it! Appreciate that! Thanks! xKelly


No worries. I found the FAQs via the fb page but thanks for fixing it for the masses!


so what can we ask then? honestly doesn't seem like a whole lot. adn in re: to medical questions what is the harm in someone saying "i also suffer from that and this is what i've experienced" or re: relationships "i went through something similiar etc" maybe a list of things we CAN ask would be more appropriate now?

Kelly De Vries

Thanks ladydeevine, Kristy has done a list up on the facebook page :-) Hope it's helped! xKelly


I must admit I'm glad to hear this, when I first became a member, only 18 months ago, it was so different, it was all about helpful advice on how to raise our kids when we weren't sure what to do, lately it's just been question after question from someone in a shit relationship with some asshole, I was just about to unlike the page as I found it depressing, but I think I'll hang around now and hopefully it'll be just like it used to be, well done girls, I like the new move xxx

Kelly De Vries

Thanks Terri :-) Appreciate the feedback!
The relationship questions will still be in there, as I believe that fixing that helps the mother to be a better mother, which in turn helps the kids too - but yes, bring on more parenting questions! Looking forward to helping! :-) xKelly

Cynthia Slattery

You have to set some rules - to make life easier for yourselves if nothing else! And most of what you have stated is stated in our responses, ie see a doctor, get counselling, see a solicitor ... Well done girls, keep it up!