How loud is your self hate voice?

How loud is your self hate voice?

Really think about that! – As parents we know that we need to fill our kids heads with words of affirmations and try to give them as much praise as possible so they can grow into successful humans.

We know that right?

Well, what about us?

How often do you hear that little voice in your head putting you down saying things like:
“Well you really stuffed that up"
"God, you’re slack!” or
“You really could have done better if you were more organised!”

To be honest, I personally hear that negative voice a lot. (If I don’t monitor it) It’s like this little yucky fellow that slowly makes his way back into your head.

I caught myself feeling really sad the other day so I started to question why I was feeling that way.

I started to listen to that voice consciously. That little inner voice was having a great ol time ripping into me.

I find it creeps back when I’m either tired, stressed or I’ve simple over-scheduled myself.

It’s when I haven’t actively looked after myself by taking time out to actively do things I love.

I think I speak for us all when I say, we as Mothers do that a lot! It’s about maintaining control and taking the time out to be active in our own self care.

Here’s a couple of questions I would like you to ponder.

When was the last time you thought about you?
Can you clearly articulate what makes you happy?
Do you make time for you?
How loud is your self love voice?
How loud is your self hate voice?
Which one do you listen to more?

How did you go? do you think it’s time to make a change?

In order to function and be the best we can be; we need to self check regularly we need to check in and listen to our thoughts and ask ourselves are they negative or are they positive?

That negative voice effects our feelings and they way we parent, THEY DO! That is why we MUST actively turn that self love voice up!

If you want to be a better Mother you MUST look after your own needs and wants. Think back to the last time you flew in a plane.
What did the Air Hostess say? – She said, fit your own breathing device before you fit your child’s.
You can not physically help your child or be the best role model for them if you don’t first look after YOU!

Next time you hear that negative voice, say stop in your head. Then replace it with some words of self love. Practice self compassion, be kind to yourself. It will come naturally after time.

It’s something i’m still practicing. Practice makes perfect right? – RIGHT!

Kristy X

About the Author

Kristy Vallely is the founder and Creator of the Imperfect Mum.

Kristy believed there needed to be a place that women could go to. Where they could talk and relate. A place they could feel safe. A place they trusted. So The Imperfect Mum was born in June 2011. There was obviously such a need that when the gates 'opened' a huge flurry of women followed. Kristy has always been very passionate about women and the issues they face.

Her passion and determination has helped her carve out a career helping others and creating 'a go to place' for women from all around the world.

Posted in:  Life Lessons, Self Care

5 Replies


Yes so true!! It's a horrible thing that can really stick the claws in and take over, which in turn leaves me feeling like a failure as a mother, anda wife and basically like a big blob of blah...It is a habbit, and like you say something we actively need to keep in check, notice and then change the thoughts/voice to a more positive loving vibe...a psychologist once asked me to imagine myself as a young girl, what would you want her to know about herself what would you want to tell her! It was a pretty emotional exercise and a huge eye opener because my first reaction was to say all the things I would tell my children, that I love then, that they are special, and amazing and that the world is ok, and to always believe in them selves...awesome post x

The Imperfect Mum

Thank you Liz, I loved reading that!

The Imperfect Mum

I will use that, it's an awesome activity to practise. Xx

kirri white

Ahh so you are have been working hard I see ;) Its so great that you are blogging about your experiences and learning. Keep the conversation going babe x

Jodie Conduit

i feel this a lot actually constantly, i have a child who is sick so the worse thing i do is blame myself for his condition (we still don't know if its genetic or a mutation). So i beat myself up about that, about how i look, about how i handle everything, its only when i sing once i week im remotely positive and even then negativity makes its way in. i really hope i can take some of these tips and change as my happiness and positiveness rely to much on others