Just feeling a bit lost..

I just feel so lost currently.
I am a married mum with children. Long term relationship. Our children are all neurodivergent and our youngest has significant medical issues.
So a couple of years ago I became very sick, I was in and out of hospital and at the end I became unable to work. I lost the job I loved. Losing both my health and my job was hard but then I also lost a close friend. The 3 together crushed me.
My youngest has gone downhill of late and he needs care 24/7. I’m so happy to provide this but it makes my life very isolated. It’s lifelong care.
I feel so lost. So my own health isn’t great, my youngest child’s health isn’t great, no job, and I lost a friendship that I have had since childhood.
I don’t know how to build myself up now and I also don’t know how to not feel like I’m failing every day. As mentioned I’m married but i never feel like I’m doing enough or am enough. I just constantly feel like I’m behind the 8 ball. My husband loves me but im overweight (meds from health condition) and I feel disgusting. He’s never said anything about how I look but I know he just wants his wife back. I do what I can as a mum but every day feel like it’s just not enough.
I have C-PTSD which also makes things hard and I struggle to open up about my feelings. Especially the struggles of caring for such a significantly complex medical child. I’m just lost.
I miss my old life.
Some tips to heal my heart and get back my self confidence ??