What do I do to make this work?

Anonymous

What do I do to make this work?

Hey, I need help making a decision. I feel selfish for even considering it.
I want to know if this is something that is worthwhile and others have done and if it's possible to do without the guilt.
I want to go back to the gym. Recent months I have started a new job which is a different field than I have worked in previously, my youngest has started school so I now work 9-3.
Love my job. Love my family.
I am a single mum of multiple children and have always managed to get that gym time because if nothing else it helps me so much mentally. I just cannot get the time to do it now. It doesn't work and I feel my mental health slipping because I don't have an outlet.

What I'm asking is help to decide the possibility of going really early morning while my kids sleep. I have never left my children alone before. I have no support. No help. No family and no friends.
I have struggled with asking for help ever.
I feel shame for even considering this because I feel it's something for me and it's selfish.
Slightly worried about reading any comments on the subject.
Another option j thought of is buying them all a gaming device and letting them play in the car?

FYI
Small town, not alot of gym options, no childcare facility there,
Kids age between 6 and 10
Oldest has a phone for emergencies

Posted in:  Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression, Parenthood Guilt, Health & Wellbeing, Kids

7 Replies

Anonymous

This for me would depend on your children and their confidence.
My 10 year old would be fine. My 7 year old May struggle. However they have each other.. so I think she would cope, however I’d need him to be kind to her hehe and I’m not sure I completely trust him with that.
Please don’t feel shame.

like
Anonymous

Could you put them in after school care a couple of days a week?
I know it sounds expensive but if you're only working part time and are a single mum, you would potentially only pay 15% of the bill (depending on your income), the rest covered by Government.
I would look into that first.
Good luck x

like
Anonymous

You could also look into a nice uni student, looking for a few extra bucks that lives close.
Saturday/sunday mornings and a couple of hours during the week.

You could also ask around at school for a fellow local mum in the same situation and alternate afternoons, no money required.

like
Anonymous

It depends where you are. Some states have laws about age of children being left alone, and older again if in charge of siblings.

Also, anyone home needs to know how to act in an emergency and look after others. Illnes, fire, break-in etc.

Is there a child minding facility at any of the gyms? Are there outdoor gyms in any parks you can take your kids too?

I walk on work breaks, or exercise at home - outside if possible, take kids to do different short walks on weekends. I get it sucks, and can leave you feeling trapped and alone but safety needs to come first.

like
Anonymous

Why not buy some equipment and work out at home? It would be terrible if something happened at home while you weren't there. There's also the possibility you injure yourself at the gym or have a car accident and your kids are left home alone for hours. In my opinion if they are too young to be at home alone while they are awake then they shouldn't be left home alone at all. I don't agree with kids sitting in the car to wait for you at the gym.

like
Anonymous

Is there before or after school care? I just think 10 is too young to be left alone, especially with younger ones as well. In QLD the legal age is 12.

Is there a spot inside the gym they could just quietly sit with their device? And WOULD they just quietly sit?

Or post on a local fb group for a babysitter? Maybe a highschooler looking for some easy cash?

Start work a bit earlier & go in your lunch break?

You 100% deserve the time to go to ths gym for your outlet, especially as it affects your mental health.
You just need to find the proper way to go about it.

like
Anonymous

I use to go really early while my kids slept and husband already at work
My eldest wS slightly older 13 or more yo

like