I guess I don't really know why I'm writing this.
I just wish When I had my first baby at 21 that I hadn't been so stressed out
Its not that I didn't want her..
I was so excited to be pregnant (
My husband and I had been married a couple of years..and were so looking forward to having her..but afterwards I believe I had post natal depression and didn't cope well and used to be cranky and irritatingly most of the time.
I tried telling some how I felt..but was made to feel it was wrong to feel that way.
I feel bad and have suffered depression/anxiety most of my life and my daughter suffers from it too.
I dont really know why Im posting this.
I just hope when mothers feel like I did..they are able to get help.
We now have Grandchildren who we love to pieces.
but I still don't feel confident when they stay with us (not that I get cranky with them..and my husband is great with them. )
I guess I just was never good at being with children.
I must sound like an awful person.
Just wish I could have been a better mother :(
Guilt at how I wish I had been a better mother
Guilt at how I wish I had been a better mother
Posted in:
Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression
3 Replies
You’re not alone. I’d say even more of us feel this way now. It’s so isolating. I’d guess now, more of us are medicated. Sometimes it seems like most of the population is medicated, and we’re half told it’s ok and we need to take our own time, etc, but nothing much else aside from that. There’s no village anymore. Not even amongst mothers/ parents. We are online, but physically, it’s a real problem.
My late mother told me she felt this way. She talked about she couldn't give me things that other kids had, I had to go to school with holes in my shoes and 2nd hand clothes. My response was that I knew she always loved me, and while I didn't have everything I wanted, I did have everything I needed and I turned out okay. My advice to you is just love your grandkids. You get to give them back! You won't damage them. Just focus on making fun precious memories.
Don't compare yourself to others, we're all different and do things differently.
You raised your daughter, and she brings her most prized loved ones to see and stay with you so it's safe to say she loves you.
That's a win in my eyes, you don't have to be the mum elbow deep in glitter and macaroni to be doing a damned fine job.