My daughter is 11. Her height is 5'5 and she weighs 42kgs and still losing weight. I don't know what to do, we've been to the doctors all her bloodwork was normal other than a little low on iron and vitamin d which we've started vitamins for. There are no intolerances and she doesn't have diabetes. We got a referral for a paediatrician and a psychiatrist back in October and ive been calling them every week for the last month getting the same answer, they will call when they get to her referral. She is self harming, has had visual and auditory hallucinations and this is also on her referral. Her eating and sleeping habits are terrible, I try to make her eat what the family eats, but most meals there is something she doesn't like. She doesnt like bread or chips so we hardly ever have burgers or wraps and when we do her meal is substituted for a salad. She's always been a salad lover since she could pick up food and feed herself. It's not unusual for her to grab a carrot or capsicum out of the fridge and just eat it raw. If we are having salad she hates any dressings or cheeses so it's tough to up the calories this way. She hates takeaway and has since she was young so when we get takeaway she opts for a salad or gets me to make her some pasta. She won't eat chicken so I'm substituting it for tuna or salmon because at least she will eat them. We have sustagen shakes that I try to make her have each night but she really doesn't like them and I have to bribe her. Last week she weighed 44kgs so her weight is dropping quite quickly - but she is eating. She's not throwing her food up. I am at a loss as to what to do. At what point do I have her admitted to hospital? Even then I have little faith in this actually helping the cause, the hospital in our area is so overrun and they push people out as soon as they can. I know that my daughter has severe depression and anxiety (not for a particular reason, just a chemical imbalance as she has begun puberty) She's very open with me and we talk about possible reasons she might be feeling the way she is. She says she doesn't know, that her body just makes her feel this way and I believe her. She doesn't want to go anywhere because she knows she looks so skinny. I feel like I'm on suicide watch and I'm scared I'll come home from the supermarket and find her taken her life. I don't even know exactly what I'm asking. Has anyone gone through similar and able to offer some light as to what could be going on? I should add the psychiatrist we are trying to get into is 4 hours away - which we are willing to make the trip if we could actually get an appointment. The only one closer isn't taking on new patients. She won't see a psychologist and I can't force her to talk to someone I just think it would be more detrimental at this stage.
Beginning of anorexia or other illness?
Beginning of anorexia or other illness?
Posted in:
Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression, Teenagers, Puberty
20 Replies
Is she peeing a lot? Waking up in the night weeing? Drinking lots of water. Get her tested for type 1 diabetes. If her vitamin B is low, get her the vitamin B injections weekly, to bring this up as it can affect anxiety and the nervous system. When mine was low, I suffered quite bad from it, it did me amazing after the injections and it brings them up quicker than any tablets. Also she needs to see a psychologist but if I was in your place, I’d be going straight to the hospital with her. Has she had any trauma in her childhood that she could be blocking out or something she can’t tell you? you poor mum. Is there any take away that she really loves that you can get into her or any good friends that can come and stay with her that may help.? This is so sad. I hope you both get the help that she needs. Also with the diabetes ask for a glucose tolerance test not blood test.
Sorry just read the take away part again. Keep making her pasta if that’s what she eats and see how she goes. Poor kid
Our GP did think this at the beginning and did testing for diabetes but it was negative.
My type 1 daughter has blood tests now that come back perfect, you wouldn’t know she was diabetic going by her blood tests and having it under control. I suggest going back and asking for a glucose intolerance test ( 2 hour testing ) and also request type 1 antibodies testing. Just to rule this out thoroughly.
I think you need to send the referral yourself. Go back to the Dr and get a copy and send it straight through. I had to send my sons directly. I was also waiting for the hosp to contact me and they told me they were waiting for my referral that I had to send not my Dr. This is heartbreaking for you.
They have our referral we are on a "triage" type waiting list :(
This is terrible! Ring them and ask to go on a cancellation list
Psychiatrist asap and antidepressants. They will help replace the chemical imbalance and get her appetite up. Go back to the Dr and get back on to the psychiatrist or find another one who can take her asap. go private and get a care plan.
the psych we are trying to see is private and 4 hours away because that's the closest that is taking on new patients. We were hoping after we do the trip down a few times we would be able to move to Telehealth appointments, but actually getting an appointment is mental
Wow no wonder so many teens are suffering
Does she choose salad because she enjoys it or is it restrictive eating? Because it’s super low calories or because it’s a food she enjoys?
Public paed can take 12 months to be seen. Once you’re in you’ll be rescheduled and seen as they deem needed.
If you feel she’s suicidal or see self harm you can take her to a hospital emergency room or call an ambulance, she will be seen and may get some help, it still wont always bump her up the line, it’s still just go home and wait because our system is so fucking broken, but it is an option for you if you feel you need to take action urgently.
she's always liked salad since she could feed herself. I don't think she's trying to restrict her calories it just happens that the food she does like or will eat aren't high in calories
Look at extending her salad recipes, add chick peas, salmon, creamy dressings, avocado, bacon/croutons, eggs, try potato salad/pasta salad. Jarred roasted eggplant/capsicum/artichoke in oil.
She might also like meals like burritos/san choy bow using fried mince with salad, wrapped up inside a lettuce leaf instead of bread.
Could be AFRID
https://raisingchildren.net.au/guides/a-z-health-reference/avoidant-rest...
Or has she made any complaints bout how the foods she avoids make her feel after consumption? Eg. Brain fog, bloating, fatigue, nausea? Or is is taste and texture?
You could reach out to Nutrition Australia (assuming your I'm AUS) and see if they can be of any assistance. They usually run programs for parents and children for free or a small cost, $5-$20.
I second the suggestion of possible ARFID. This is what my daughter has but she doesn’t eat any fruit or veggies and really only has ‘junk’ type foods. Suffice to say, even this limited amount of food and the type she eats doesn’t help with weight gain. She is (and has been) tube fed for the past 7 years. However that’s failed to assist as she’s older (she has ASD which complicates things) and currently sits at 168cm and 41kg.
In terms of when someone takes this seriously, they usually look at the BMI and if it’s less than 12.something (say 11 for argument sake) it usually calls for hospital admissions. I say ‘usually’ because it’s a fight for admission as no one takes it seriously. With a low BMI and the introduction of sudden ‘nutrition’ it can actually place the young person (in this case) at risk of re-feeding syndrome (although to be clear anyone deprived, for a long period of time of food or adequate nutrition can be affected) , So I’d avoid pushing to much in terms off ‘healthier options’ especially in terms of quantity and address the situation as soon as you can with a dietitian.
The sad fact is you’ll need support for a hospital admissions, so may be worth reaching out to an eating disorder specialist/clinic and having a chat with them.
As for her mental health, do you have a child youth and mental health service that could potentially offer an appointment sooner. If not so much for your child immediately but intake services where they could try and find ways to have your daughter engage with a service to address the other issues with self harm and hallucinations.
Consider medication for her anxiety and depression. It's affecting her seriously she has most likely got an eating disorder and is self harming, do what you need to do to get her mentally healthy again. She could be vomiting and hiding it, that's a lot of weight to lose for her height and weight in a week I'm sorry but she has to be vomiting.
When I was a teenager I remember my mum took me to the doctors and I was 5'5 5'6 and 40kgs the doctor was worried I wasn't "healthy" enough. I stayed that way till I was about 20-21 growing in the process but my weight never changed. They gave me protein shakes and protein bars, the kind of things weight lifters use but I didn't work out so that I would put on weight, turns out my metabolism worked a little too well and my later diagnosis worked against me! I had a lot of mental health issues myself, I tried to commit suicide twice in my younger years but when I was 21 I was diagnosed properly through a psychiatrist, I have borderline personality disorder not because of life experiences but because my brain dosent produce or store serotonin and other chemicals adequately, so when a life event happened I wasnt able to create the adequate responses in dealing with it so my flight or fight response was all over the place! I had messed with my eating habits, my sleep, day to day functioning wasn't easy for me, my anxeity was all over the place and my depression spurts lasted a few months in some case's.
If I was you I'd get a proper child psychiatrist involved twice a week, get her diagnosed properly! There may be more to it than just anxeity and depression especially if she's seeing and hearing things. Don't feel disheartened if 12 or even 24 months down the track she still dosent have to right meds it took me 3 years to find the ones that work for me! It's amazing you're on this now! Youre a good mumma!! When I told me mum my diagnosis and the symptoms of BPD first thing she said was "well that makes so much more sense now"
I'd like to add to that I was like your daughter, I'm now 33, I have a great career, a house and two beautiful children, mental health sucks but she will get there and definitely with you in her corner!!
So true
Could it be a gluten intolerance?? I only ask because a friend of mine, her daughter was fine and as soon as she started going through puberty she became depressed and anxious and it turned out that for some reason it was her body reacting to gluten that way. They only tried that because the mother also can't have gluten (not the same reason, just she is allergic to it) so they thought they'd try that first just on the off chance. Stopped all gluten intake and in 2 weeks the depression and anxiety lifted and it was like she was a new kid. Could be worth a try. I really feel for you and I hope you can find some answers x
Also, a dentist visit would be able to tell you if she is secretly throwing up her food. That could be worth looking into because then you could either rule it out or deal with it. I would maybe call and tell them your concerns and ask if they can just do the check up as normal and then privately let you know afterwards what they think in regards to the vomiting. That way there is no pressure on her and she can just think it's a normal dentist appointment.