It is important to note that I have recently been diagnosed with C-PTSD.
I have 2 children; 12 y.o & 3y.o, and have been seeing a man for about 6 months; my current rental has sold and we've been asked to leave, I have been looking and applying for months.
My partner has been private renting the house he lives in for his whole life & the same owner also has an abandoned workers shack about 250m from my partners.
Partner begins telling me he can build an extra room to make this house a 2 bedroom; he can build a work shed so I have somewhere to work. This whole time I'm thinking "it's too early to be moving this close to someone", at the beginning of our relationship I told him I do not want to live with another Male, I have my reasons. But with this stupid rental crisis I can either go stay with my ex (who I left due to financial abuse, verbal abuse etc), live in my sedan, or take the workers shack next to my partner.
So I cave.
Due to my poor upbringing, it doesnt take much to manipulate me, I'm realizing now that my partner uses coercion to get his way. Hes pig headed and always right, no one can teach him anything, everyone else is stupid. He vents to me about people being stupid about spending their money on things that he didnt want them to- in his eyes he gave them a perfectly good alternative and they're stupid for not choosing his way. He now has ceased talking about building another room or garage.
Anyways, in 3 weeks time I will have moved myself and 2 kids out there, last week he tells me that he will be staying over each night, coming 'home' for dinner etc. No mention of giving me money for cooking, cleaning his clothes etc.
I'm lost.
My family completely cut me off 4 years ago and I have literally nowhere to go.
Granted if I stay at this workers shack I will save money, if I goto a shelter of some sort I have to given up our family dog and my galah I have had for 20 years. Can anyone suggest anything please?
I am located very rural Sth Burnett, QLD. Thank you
1st time poster, I need help please
1st time poster, I need help please
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression, Kids
4 Replies
That's a very sad situation to be in! Honestly, if you and your ex are on good terms now you may be better off staying with him. You don't have to worry about financial abuse now having separated finances and you both have probably been living your own lives long enough for the verbal abuse to be a thing of the past. At least you know him and what he's like with your kids where you have no idea with this other guy. You also want to make this period of your children's lives less traumatic as possible and stuck in a little shack with a man they don't know could be very traumatic compared to staying in their fathers home with both their parents.
I agree, go to exes.
If the new guy goes psycho, you will see his true colours and can get rid of him.
This is a good test, saying no to him, watch carefully how he responds.
He already Sounds controlling, kids don’t need that in their life.
Go to a shelter, they will take care of yo ur pets, or put it out therr for long term helpers/fosters, and i think youll get it.
If not, then it is possible to live there and set boundaries. You just speak up. And if he doesnt respect you, or doesn't like it, he can leave and you can break up. You can live there broken up. At least until you get the chance to move on, which you need to do asap.
Get rid of this new guy and go to your exes. Cut the new one off, he is no good and is using you. If not seek help through a church group / donations etc.