I have a huge fear of my 3 yo choking.
She’s had several episodes where she has started to choke on her food. I’ve tried my best to teach her to take smaller bites, not to put a whole piece into her mouth, to slow down, but she just keeps having these moments and I’m absolutely terrified that she will die from choking and I don’t know how to manage my fears so that she doesn’t grow up with a fear of dying by choking also.
I’ve seen my doctor to help manage my anxiety but her suggestion was simply to take medications and to be completely honest, that didn’t help at all, it only made me more nervous that maybe I had not done enough for her.
Am I over reacting by getting her checked out just to make sure she doesn’t have a narrowed throat area or should I just be more persistent about being on her case and hovering when she eats?
I’m unsure as to what I should do and how I can help the both of us.
Right now I keep having thoughts of “I wish she were a year or two older and could understand a little better” and I feel like I’m missing out on her growing into the darling she is by being so worried.
She starts preschool next year and that’s a whole other level of fears! What if she chokes and I’m not there to help?
I’m actually terrified and I can’t settle my anxiety.
My husband thinks that I need to just let what will be be and that she will be fine but I can’t find my trust in him on this one.
Help!
4 Replies
Have you done a first aid course? Maybe if you haven’t it’ll be worth doing one and get them to cover chocking in depth with you so if she had another incident of chocking you’re less likely to panic and you’ll be better able to manage the situation. (Although understand you’ll probably still panic and that’s okay too).
Is cutting her food up smaller an option? If she’s taking big bites this will lesson the likelyhood of an issue cause the foods cut smaller and less in her mouth.
I don’t necessarily think getting her throat area checked to see if she has a narrow tube is bad, but is it your anxiety or a general worry? I don’t think there is any harm in talking with your GP about either way.
As for preschool, if she has a chocking incident at school her teachers are present and I believe all have first aid experience (could be wrong I’m not a teacher and never asked).
Worth considering also is it your anxiety around her eating that’s causing your daughter to possibly be anxious while eating and increasing the risk of her being careless while eating?
Have you considered talking to a psychologist about your fear of her dying from chocking? I’ve had my fair share of kiddies choke at some point, one turning blue/purple before I was able to dislodge the food item, and while I was terrified for a few days after the event it wasn’t to the point it affected me as much as you seem to be affected.
One thing I always suggests to parents is to gain proper understanding of choking and gagging. Gagging is a natural reflex and is okay.. choking is a serious thing where she will be turning blue and you need to dislodge what she is choking on. If she’s legitimately choking often then you need to figure out why as it’s not natural.
I would also suggest enrolling into a first aid course and do a refresher annually to put your mind at ease so that you can be prepared for scenarios.
Rest assured, the educators will be trained in first aid and would understand what to do if a child choked :)
My mum had a huge thing about us choking when we were kids, to the point that if we coughed or made a weird noise while we were eating she'd start screaming/crying and bashing us on the back thinking we were dying.
In hindsight, that probably speaks volumes about where her mental health was at back then.
I'm not gonna lie though, I still feel the psychological effects of her reactions as an adult so I'm glad to hear that you want to get on top of this. I think it would really benefit you to have some sessions with a psychologist.
Now. I used to work in childcare, all staff need to have current first aid certificate and from memory a specific infant first aid certificate (they are two separate courses), there's usually a first aid officer on the premises at all times too . Actual choking incidents where intervention is needed are really uncommon, most of the time kids just cough/gag/vomit which looks scary but it's actually the body doing what it's meant to do to clear an obstruction.
I second getting yourself through a first aid course, it definitely brings me some comfort knowing that know how to deal with an emergency.
I don't think it would hurt having her checked out by a doctor but chances are she's fine, just a typical 3 year old that puts more food in her mouth than what fits - they do grow out of it, usually once they're old enough to remember how scary a choke can be.
I had a child who would shove as much food as he could in his mouth (he even did it at childcare and had the carers consered!). At 12 he still does sometimes. Yes they gag and it is concerning but she will learn. I definitely think you need to talk to someone about how you feel though. It isnt normal to feel like that. I have issues with cord around necks. Cbt therapy can help.