I'm the single mum who posted a few weeks ago who is struggling beyond what I ever thought possible, I am getting help with sorting a budget im looking for work etc but as I live in a tiny town there is no financial assistance, the community organisations I've rung in my next big town haven't been able to help due to either still being closed or being out of funds because the others are closed and they are over run with the need for assistance, once again I have no idea how I am going to put food on the table for my girls.
This is where it gets disappointing, sooooo many people offered assistance, sooooo many people made promises and I slept so soundly for a few days because there was light at the end of the tunnel BUT the majority didn't follow through on promises, to those who have assisted me I am FOREVER grateful to you, thank you, and will be paying it forward as soon as i am able to, but please when mums post (and are obviously at extremely low points in their life and suffering depression etc) please please PLEASE do NOT offer assistance if you arent intending to follow through because in the long run in just makes things more difficult emotionally, I'm not posting this for my benefit im posting this because I don't want ANY other mum going through the emotional turmoil I have.
Please only offer assistance if you intend to follow through
Please only offer assistance if you intend to follow through
Posted in:
Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression, Parenthood Guilt, Food
22 Replies
How about you just be grateful for the help you got and leave the rest out. People may not have followed up for any number of reasons and given the current circumstances I can imagine what those reasons are.
Oh look, a nasty bitch has surfaced. Never takes long on this site.
Not nasty. Just willing to stand up and say “stop being ungrateful”. There are families on this site on this site struggling every day and you who have been given assistance have the gall to stand up and complain that it wasn’t enough and everyone who said they would should pay up. It’s rude and insulting
As I have stated in my post I am FOREVER grateful for the help, as I also explained this wasn't about me this post was just to give other mums the chance to see that promises to help then to just not follow through can push some women over the edge. I am and forever will be grateful for every bit of the assistance I received.
I can’t even find your original post ?
I think the biggest issue is for people to help you - they have to be able to contact you. Why not start a small go fund me ?
Actually I think I found your original post. Every little bit helps - if that was your PayPal account and it is the right post... then little something coming your way
Truly hun thank you xxx yes that was my post, truly thank you xoxoxox even $5 gets a 3 litre milk here in my little town xxx so truly thank you, it was mums who had commented on my post shared to Facebook by the imperfect mum and I had spoken to directly and I completely understand that sometimes people can't follow through on promises I just don't want to see another mumma actually get pushed over the edge, thankfully I'm strong enough to know my kids need me they have NO one else but not so many mums are as lucky 💔 or have any emotional support.
I think a lot of people get caught up in the moment and offer to help before they've really had time to stop and think "Hang on, I just offered to send money to an anonymous person on facebook - that probably wasnt very sensible".
I also think if you're going to reach out online, take any promises of monetary help with a grain of salt and definitely don't rely on it.
I’m sorry that happened to you, some people are all talk ❤️
I see both sides here. It does look ungrateful on the surface because you did actually get support, and sometimes those well meaning offers that never came thru could also have had a struggle of their own pop up, so judging them for that does look like you have taken your annoyance out on them
On the other hand, it can also be a massive let down when u have felt supported and then its fallen thru.
You have struggles, but just be mindful that others do too, sometimes at the last moment.
I think you need to adjust your expectations too. You asked on the internet for stranger to send you money and some did. You just got less than expected. I'd have expected none so if even 5% of people that responded followed through I'd be surprised.
Can I ask what the situation is? I think it's a bit rude to get upset with strangers for not giving you money, there are lots of people who have had a hard run.
I’m pretty sure this was the women struggling because of covid, like 90% of other people. A lot of people have lost their job and homes, rental shortages and just before Christmas. And she is mad because people arnt sending her money through her go fund me. Now trying to guilt people for not donating to her.
No this is a different poster.
The lady that IM set up the go fund me for got a lot of help and was so grateful.
But after that there were quite a few posts of people sharing their tough times, I’m assuming hoping for the same level of support that the other lady got.
Yeah I noticed that too.
One in particular, not this IM, but another that listed a billion different bad things that happened to her, disabled child, some major catastrophe with the house etc etc. I didn’t comment on the post, just in case, but it just seemed phoney to me. She didn’t want a go fund me page blah blah, but it just seemed so fake.
However, I feel sorry for this IM because people made a promise and they didn’t follow through.
That’s cruel in my book.
Better to say/give nothing.
Hope this IM is having better times, tough times don’t last but tough people do.
I know what it’s like...
If the OP of this post circumstances haven't changed or there's nothing majorly going on then I don't see why there's a go fund me. Do what everyone else does - sell stuff, do odd jobs, cut costs wherever possible. There's never been more help than now from the federal and state governments for people in hardship so look a bit further and see if there's help available.
I have never agreed with GoFundMe pages. I think they should be banned.
I agree with GoFundMes if a tragedy has happened eg. house fire, everything stolen etc but not for something like this as most people are in the same situation and they get by without relying on money from internet strangers.
The go fund me was NOT for me, as I stated In my original post, I didn't post this for ME I just don't want to hear of a mum bring pushed over the edge, as someone who suffers depression but has thankfully never been suicidal I can see how something like this could push someone over the edge
You need to look at your expenses. If you have Netflix etc cancel them for now. No takeaway. Look at what you're spending money on and see how you can change it. Covid has hurt most people's jobs and lives and we need to make sacrifices so we can put food on the table for our kids. Food like chickpeas and beans is a good substitute for meats in things like currys and a much cheaper option. Buy lifelong milk instead of regular. Sell some of your stuff you don't need anymore. Old clothes, books, games etc. It's what a lot of us mums have had to do.
I've sold everything down to my bed base, I have bare necessities and have always been a serious tight ass, I have no Netflix, no internet, except what comes with my monthly prepaid top up, I've done it all, and as i said in my original post I didn't post this for ME I posted this because promises of help and then just instantly stopping communication can seriously affect some people. And i would hate to hear of a mum being pushed over the edge