So will try and keep the back story short. Ex husband and I have been separated/divorced for 9 years. Our 3 kids are 15, 13, and 11. Each kid at different schools by their choosing (youngest in year 6 and will be going to a different high school than her siblings next year that she wants to attend, which happens to be a very good private catholic school. My children's father has been threatening the eldest 2 that if they don't receive good enough grades this semester, he will enrol them at the catholic school whether they want to attend or not, and has told them they have no say, and neither do I. My eldest daughter called me today so excited and proud that she had received a B for her chemistry exam (PE and Science she normally achieves a C, all other subjects A's and B's). Half an hour later she's calling me in tears as her father said that's not good enough, she should be getting A's and he's enrolling her in the private school as soon as he can. He's going to attempt it for our 13 year old as well. My question is, what rights do I have, what rights do my children have to not be forced to change schools? They are happy and settled, they have great friends, and are above average with their grades. I believe it's cruel of him to use standover tactics to scare and threaten them.
Parent forcing children to change schools
Monday, 22 June 2020 - 19:25
22 Replies
Just letting you know you aren’t anonymous, I’m sure your kids would be devo if one of their friends parents saw all their business online.
To be honest, I've been reading the comments on the TIM fb page. I did not realise that it is not anonymous on the actual website, and have only just read this now. I'm very disappointed that my anonymity wasn't considered on this website. However, my children are well aware of what their father is threatening them of, and my upmost concern is for their mental health. I hope one of their father's friends reads this, and the fb comments and tells him what a mean and cruel person he is being.
Who’s the primary career and doing drop offs/pick ups? Dads probably going about it the wrong way but I wouldn’t be sending my three kids to three different schools, that just seems ridiculous to me.
Why? Me and my siblings have all gone to different schools. It's nice not to be compared to siblings and have your own space and friends.
Why? Because when you start work at 9 it’s ridiculous to go to three different schools each morning. That’s great for you but maybe dad is fed up of driving around for an hour every morning/afternoon.
We also live in the real world where most of us aren’t stay at home mummies who can taxi kids to three different locations. Your mum was able to indulge you, that’s lovely, but reality is, unless we wanted to get kids up at 5.00 am it’s not doable.
Wow what an assumption lol. My mum worked 3 jobs when I was in high school so no, not indulged. I caught the bus to school and my after school job as my siblings do. And again, not privileged - I lived 40 minutes from my school. If dad doesnt want to take time out for his kids - I dont see why public transport cant be explored?
When I say indulged, nothing to do with being rich or having money.
She indulged you in allowing you all to go to different schools.
Never thought or said you were rich/spoilt.
Indulge? F off.
My siblings and I went to different schools, because we had different academic needs. We didn’t have “mummy” driving us around either - we caught buses and trains, as do the majority of high school aged kids.
For everyone's information, I've been monitoring TIM fb page and not this website. My ex husband and I share equal custody, and we have court orders in place to enforce this. My eldest daughter travels to school by bus both ways, or if need be, she can be driven to and from school, as her school is in the city very close to where each parent works. She was accepted to this school via an arts scholarship. It happens to be the best state school in queensland outside of Brisbane. My son did not want to go to the private catholic school near where we live, and so attends the local state College 2km away. He rides his bike to and from school everyday. The local catholic school that my youngest daughter will be attending, is across the road from the state college that my son attends, and she will most likely walk there each day, as the traffic in and out of that school is an absolute nightmare.
He is the parent and he does have the right to override the kids, thats part of being a parent. What he shouldn't be doing is making this choice without discussing it with you as this should be a decision made by both of you.
Who do they live with?
My ex husband and I share equal custody, and we have court orders in place to enforce this
Wouldn't think it's possible because if you were a terrible parent you could do it as well and those poor kids would never get an education
Three schools, that’s a lot.
Who does school pick ups?
My eldest daughter travels to school by bus both ways, or if need be, she can be driven to and from school, as her school is in the city very close to where each parent works. She was accepted to this school via an arts scholarship. It happens to be the best state school in queensland outside of Brisbane. My son did not want to go to the private catholic school near where we live, and so attends the local state College 2km away. He rides his bike to and from school everyday. The local catholic school that my youngest daughter will be attending, is across the road from the state college that my son attends, and she will most likely walk there each day, as the traffic in and out of that school is an absolute nightmare.
I guess it all comes down to who does the drop offs and pick ups. I wouldn’t want to be dropping three kids off at different places then trying to get to work on time. Also if this private school is as good as you say it is why wouldn’t you want all the children to go? I mean if I can give them the best education wouldn’t that be the top priority?
My ex husband and I share equal custody, and we have court orders in place to enforce this. My eldest daughter travels to school by bus both ways, or if need be, she can be driven to and from school, as her school is in the city very close to where each parent works. She was accepted to this school via an arts scholarship. It happens to be the best state school in queensland outside of Brisbane. My son did not want to go to the private catholic school near where we live, and so attends the local state College 2km away. He rides his bike to and from school everyday. The local catholic school that my youngest daughter will be attending, is across the road from the state college that my son attends, and she will most likely walk there each day, as the traffic in and out of that school is an absolute nightmare. My eldest daughter is achieved 4 A's and 4 B's on her 1st semester report card. My son has not received his to date, however, he has been achieving A's on most of his assessments individually. Yes their education is important, but I believe that being uprooted and being made to change school's because of a parent's whim, will have an adverse reaction. The mental health toll; readjustment to a new school, new friends, teachers, etc for no good reason is not what I wish for my children
The fact you haven’t answered the question we have all been asking about who does school drop offs and pick ups, speaks volumes, I’m going to assume it is dad. Also, the fact that your child rang you, can I assume that dad has majority care? As the parent doing the heavy lifting, I think it is his right to put his foot down and decide on their schools. When someone else is doing all the work, it’s easy to nitpick them, because you don’t have their struggles.
I also don’t think you respect your family, by having your name on this post. It seems it’s more important for you to play the victim than keep your families problems confidential for their sake.
What gives you the right to assume everything you have just assumed? I think your reading to far into what you see because she hasn't answered questions. For all you know she may not live on the net or be aware to check the responses here and only on FB.
You can be as nasty as you like but right now you are making your self look like the self righteous imp who thinks they have the right to justify their own personality on someone else from behind a screen. Get a grip on your self and stop assuming you know.
For everyone's information, I've been monitoring TIM fb page and not this website. My ex husband and I share equal custody, and we have court orders in place to enforce this. My eldest daughter travels to school by bus both ways, or if need be, she can be driven to and from school, as her school is in the city very close to where each parent works. She was accepted to this school via an arts scholarship. It happens to be the best state school in queensland outside of Brisbane. My son did not want to go to the private catholic school near where we live, and so attends the local state College 2km away. He rides his bike to and from school everyday. The local catholic school that my youngest daughter will be attending, is across the road from the state college that my son attends, and she will most likely walk there each day, as the traffic in and out of that school is an absolute nightmare.
My partners ex changed schools for their children without his knowledge and made him pay the private school fees. This is in NSW