I'll try to make this as short as possible.
I'm the eldest of five, youngest two have different father. The younger twos father died right in front of them when they were 3 & 4. He was an abusive man and only loved/wanted mr 4, pretty much neglected and treated miss 3 poorly and treated us older three pretty awful as well.
All of us kids also witnessed this man beat our mum, violently. And at times he turned his rage on us (apart from mr 4). It's honestly a miracle we survived that part of our childhood.
After that, myself and my brother lived with our dad. My sister and the younger two lived with mum.
At age 6 the youngest sister was sexually assaulted by my mums then neighbours teenage son. Police were involved and it was a traumatic time for everyone. However unfortunately mum was struggling with her own mental health at the time and never got miss 6 the mental health help she needed. I was only a teenager myself at the time and wasn't in a position to help my mum or miss 6.
Over the years mum has gone down hill in mental health and physical health.
The younger two are now teenagers, 15 and 16. Due to mums dediorating health, she can no longer care for herself or the younger two.
The 16yo brother moved in with our brother (single guy and no kids) and is so far doing well, grades have improved at school and has got a traineeship and is overall happy.
The 15yo sister (who was assaulted at 6) lives with our sister (has partner but no kids) and it's not going as well, 15yo has alot of mental health issues as well as extremely hostile (verbally)....my sister has organised a mental health care plan for miss 15yo but it's not helping. 15yo won't talk to the psychologists (my sister has/is trying several different ones) and shes refusing to take or use any birth control and refusing any medication to help with her mental health. She has poor hygiene which my sister has been trying to educate her on and she cuts herself and/or threatens to do so to get her own way. If she doesn't want to be at school she just cuts herself and she's sent home, it's a never ending cycle.
She's also physically 15 but mentally years younger and shes nearly 6 foot tall and over 100kg. So basically a 6 foot tall solid built preschooler.
I live interstate over 4000kms away with 3 small children, I'm not in a position to help, otherwise i would. Even if i could get miss 15yo over here, I've got no room for her or the financial aspect.
Miss 15yo also can't go live with our brother as he's also got no extra room or has the finances to take on an additional teenager.
My question or the point to this post i guess, what do we do? What happens now? What would you do?
My sister is struggling suffering panic attacks and has undergone multiple surgeries for her own health and shes overall not coping with miss 15yo, but miss 15yo has nowhere else to go. (My sister is/has sought mental health help out for herself)
Note* i've kept this short as possible, there is alot more bad things that happened during childhood times and there's alot more behaviour issues and other details, i just tried to stick to the important details, to paint a picture
9 Replies
That poor girl x And I bet she's a horror so it will take a special person to take her in and not write her off as a spoilt, selfish teen that can all be fixed with a kick up the bum or a door off its hinges. Im wondering if DCP would be a good place for advice on this, assuming they are not already involved? I just can't think of any other option you have. They are there to help. Would she try antidepressants if she can be talked into seeing a doctor? She does have a few signs there, I know poor hygiene and cutting can be from the sexual abuse but it can also be a sign of depression. If worse comes to worse call 000 next time she cuts herself and say it was a suicide attempt so she is forced to get help.
She has been taken to hospital a few times due to some pretty deep cutting. Unfortunately the hospital didn't do much else other then tend to the cuts and sent her on her way. My sister begged and pleaded for more help but a few psychologist appointments was all that was done.
Children's services are familiar with the younger two as they have been in foster care once before when mum wasnt coping, but the foster care wasnt a good place for them. More suffering and more damage was done. Which is why my brother/sister have stepped up and have taken them in.
Miss 15 has seen a few different doctors (finding one she likes) and her current doctor she likes and she has been prescribed antidepressants and the doctor/my sister/myself are all trying to encourage her to take them but she isnt/wont take them. We're trying to get to the bottom of the reason as to why.
Gee, so tough. How sad nobody is helping. She probably should be hospitalised. Has your sister had a serious chat with her, told her she's not coping and that she might need to find somewhere else to live if she doesn't start trying to get better?
Yes, many long chats
It needs to present as a suicide attempt, not cutting. Next time she threatens to cut herself, get your sister to ring 000 and say she's threatened suicide. Don't mention cutting. They don't take that seriously. She will get the help she needs if she's taken in there by ambo for suicide, also slip the ambos a note outlining her history so they can pass it on to the hospital. They can force her in the ambulance because she's under 16 still. If they still don't do anything then report the hospital because that's crazy.
Can you please advise the state and general area so we can recommend services in her area.
Poster here, she's located in rural QLD, closest city area is Toowoomba
Try these places
Centre against sexual violence inc
0738083299
Women’s wellness centre
0746177600 or 0439653664
I don’t have any advice but it sounds like you all had a terrible childhood and have turned out very kind people who are helping family where they can.
I think it’s important to get the 15 year old some help but not at the expense of the other sisters mental health. You contact CPS and tell them this is no longer working and she needs to live somewhere else.
You tell the 15 year old that you love her and you’ll always be there for her but the decisions she is making means that she can’t live there anymore as it’s affecting everyone around her.
Still keep in contact with her and let her know you are there when she is ready but the other sister and her health is just as important.
I literally have no idea here. This is just my suggestion and I hope you all find a way through this. ❤️