When should you turn the other cheek?

I wonder when is it appropriate to turn the other cheek.   Are we too busy with our own life that we either walk past or something we shouldn’t?

The other morning I was driving my kids to school I noticed two boys in the car in front  taunting another  kid who was walking along beside their car (we were going very slow due to congestion). You could tell the boys in front were the “popular” boys.  They were driving a hotted up Ute with music blaring.. etc.  It broke my heart to see the devastation on the other boys face due to the fact that so many of us that witnessed it..  He was being  was publicly humiliated. He dropped his shoulders and slowed down.    My heart sort of broke, but more than anything my blood boiled.

For the next 2 minutes I followed them and I wondered.. Should I follow them? Should I say something? I think we have all been in that moment.  Should we act? Is it any of our business?

I decided that I would.. Right or Wrong.. I wonder?

I pulled up beside those boys and I said “Mate I saw what you just did”  He just looked back with this mortified face which was growing red by the second.   I won’t go into the specifics but I told him what I thought.

During this ordeal many parents started to arrive and were looking over at the commotion.

I chose to act.  I chose to stand up for what I believed was right.. I wondered if I should I share this story due to the fact that it’s sounds egotistical as in I’m blowing my own trumpet.. I am certainly not, I assure you.  I also know there would be some of you that may not agree with what I did.  But to me it was the right thing to do.

The point of me writing this is it saddens me that too many people walk past.. too many people turn the other cheek. I was shocked the other day when Natalie Brown from Easy Peasy kids told me know she witnessed a man fall out of a wheel chair and people just walked past… Her and her kids had to stop their car to jump out and help him up.

I believe one of the problems with our society is that we have become too cellular as in we worry about ourselves too much.. We have lost our community pulse.

Don’t get me wrong I have also walked past things I shouldn’t have.  But since becoming a parent I have made a conscious decision to act.  I would rather my children witness me “act” rather than walk past..

About the Author

Kristy Vallely is the founder and Creator of the Imperfect Mum.

Kristy believed there needed to be a place that women could go to. Where they could talk and relate. A place they could feel safe. A place they trusted. So The Imperfect Mum was born in June 2011. There was obviously such a need that when the gates 'opened' a huge flurry of women followed. Kristy has always been very passionate about women and the issues they face.

Her passion and determination has helped her carve out a career helping others and creating 'a go to place' for women from all around the world.

Posted in:  Life Lessons, Behaviour, Teenagers

27 Replies


Again I love your honesty and humanity Kristy! I would have done the same. It is awful how people have become so blinkered in our society. Carolyn x

The Imperfect Mum

Yes... Blinkers.. Get them off People!! XX


Good on you! I would have done the same thing.

The Imperfect Mum

Great to hear Julie! x

The Imperfect Mum

Good to hear Julie! X


Wonderful thing you did Kristy...I wish there were more special people around when I was growing up. I hope I have the courage to do the same thing if and when the situation arises.

The Imperfect Mum

You will Abby! - I know you will! XX

Kirri White

I think in social situations - there is a lot of deindividuation or people in terms of watered down responsibility ("someone do someone as long as its not me!") and I definitely think its on the increase (at least in my personal experience). We all need to do our part x

The Imperfect Mum

Yeah I agree Kirr - we all need to do our part.. X

Easy Peasy Kids

What was hardest for me was when Mr 6 Said " It's like he is invisible mummy" , we all need to increase our sense of justice, compassiionand emapthy. Nx

Francine Dismorr

It is a credit to you and the way you are raising your kids that they would notice that!

Francine Dismorr

It can be hard to act, even harder to act in a way that may make a difference (ie - staying calm while giving a piece of your mind). Well done. It is important that more of us take this kind of action.

The Imperfect Mum

Thanks Francine - I agree! X


Good on you!!! Those boys probably felt "safe" in taunting that boy - feeling that no one beyond their own parents had the right to challenge their behaviour. At a certain point, kids have to realize they are accountable to the society they live in! And EVERY individual is a member of that society!

The Imperfect Mum

Well said Sophia.. I see those boys every morning now.. Their demeanor has certainly changed.. Every individual is accountable!!


Swimming against the current is one of the hardest things we can do as humans. Apart from the obvious selfishness that we see every day, I wonder if some of the lack of response is fear as well. Fear of litigation. Fear that we might stand out too much or that we might have tickets on ourselves. Fear that we might not do the right thing or that the victim may reject our help. Fear to stand alone.

The Imperfect Mum

Very true! - I think we as a society fear too much.. especially in regards to litigation. x


I was shopping ,with my 4yr old and my (then 2wks) baby, when while we were walking through the car park a little old lady fell over , I was so shocked that everyone turned the other cheek, I had my hands full with the new bub, but I was the only one to help this lovely lady up, my 4yr old collected all her money and belonging and put them back in her purse... I live in a semi rural community and I was so shocked by this..At least my parents raised me the right way and I know my son, who asked alot of questions will remember this too... Well done Kristie I would have done the same as you did :)

The Imperfect Mum

That is awful - good on you for helping - I just can not believe people would walk past...

Maid In Australia

I've spoken up a few times lately and told off kids who are bullying younger ones. Most times they react just like that one - they go red and back down completely. I figure I have to set an example to my kids and also hopefully break the cycle. I will also often comment if people are really rude either to me, my kids, or to others - I'm not rude, I just point out that they've been unthinking or unfair or whatever and perhaps they didn't mean to do/say that. We can all make a difference, and if I want my kids to stand up for themselves and others, I have to have the guts to do it too.

The Imperfect Mum

I agree! I would prefer my kids to be the ones that help others and the only way they will do that is if they see me do it!

Brooke Brabon

Oh it breaks my heart anytime I see that and I find myself getting chocked up and I don't even have kids so couldn't imagine what I would be like then but would find it hard to not say anything like you did!

Alot of taunting comes down to "jealousy" and "insecurity" of that person and because they aren't happy in their own self they pretrude that onto others so they feel just as low as them, which is really sad.

I love the quote Ït's not what you say, it's how you say it"...so true, all in the tone and body language. x

The Imperfect Mum

Yeah your right a lot of the time it comes down to their own insecurities.


My kids have grown up used to me stopping and helping stray animals, even checking a koala body once to see if their was a Joey, stopping to help someone having a seizure beside a busy road, giving a lift to a random old lady from the shops who needed. The used to act embarrassed , but then they'd boast about to their friends. They are now doing similar random acts of kindness. It doesn't hurt to add to your karma account. One day you might need it. You go girl! Keep paying it forward.

The Imperfect Mum

Ohh you're beautiful - so good to hear!

Hands Free Mama

I love this! You raise so many good points here. I don't know if it is because I have become a mom or if I have become more confident with my age, but I am finding myself standing up for what is right, even when it feels a bit uncomfortable. I think, if I don't stick up for what is right, who will? And you are right when you say our society has lost its "community pulse." I also want my children to see me standing up for what is right, which I hope empowers them to do the same when they see someone being mistreated or when they themselves are being mistreated. Thank you for this powerful post.


I wholeheartedly agree Kris. I recently came across a situation where I could hear through my neighbours fence something that made my skin crawl as a parent. It was an extrememly hard punishment on a child, not hitting but just as bad. Tears were threatening to come from me and all I wanted to do was pop my head over that fence and tell the little boy it was going to be okay. I wanted to step in. I wanted to step in bad. Problem is, I didn't know all the facts. I couldn't see what I was hearing and therefore I had to let it go because I could've been wrong.

It's important to step in, it's important we notice others around us. Do you step in when you don't know all the details though?