She's such a better mother than me

Do you find your eyes watching other mothers and hear a little voice in your head saying, “She is so, so much better at this whole motherhood thing than me.” 
I do. All. The. Time.
I know we shouldn’t compare. But we do, right? As sad and embarrassing as it is to admit...
But why, I wonder?
Why do we compare and judge ourselves so much? I mean... I’m a confident, generally self-assured person so where does this all come from?
These expectations we put on ourselves are so ridiculous.
You see, in life we’re often comparing our lives to someone else’s highlight reel. Especially, when it comes to Facebook or Instagram.  You’ll quite often see happy pictures of your friends playing with their kids, or the happy selfie with their husband or the nutritious meal they’ve cooked for their family. Or their perfectly clean house... The list goes on right?
So you start to develop this picture - a picture of what you perceive to be their life. When in actual fact it’s just their highlight reel.  
We’re not seeing the sink over-flowing with dishes.
We’re not seeing the fights they have with their husband. 
We’re not seeing the mounting laundry.
We’re not seeing the dirty and sticky floors.
We’re not seeing their sad moments.
We’re not seeing their stressed faces when they open their electricity bill.
We’re not seeing them losing it and yelling at their kids.
We’re not seeing the whole picture. 
We can all easily (including me) get stuck in the rut of comparing our lives to someone eles’s highlight reel. 
This is a scary place to be for not only you, but your kids and your husband. 
The reason being is we put undue pressure on all of those relationships. And we’re never happy. And that’s sad!
My point is be realistic with your expectations of life. Life isn’t a highlight reel, it’s all the bits in between. 
Do you find yourself comparing yourself to the other mums around you?


About the Author

Kristy Vallely is the founder and Creator of the Imperfect Mum.

Kristy believed there needed to be a place that women could go to. Where they could talk and relate. A place they could feel safe. A place they trusted. So The Imperfect Mum was born in June 2011. There was obviously such a need that when the gates 'opened' a huge flurry of women followed. Kristy has always been very passionate about women and the issues they face.

Her passion and determination has helped her carve out a career helping others and creating 'a go to place' for women from all around the world.

Posted in:  Parenthood Guilt

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