14yr old son won't stop sneaking food and lying about it. Will go to pantry, fridge or freezer and just eat what I've told him is for a reason (dessert, recess etc). Mostly sweet snacky foods (chips, lollies, choc, icecream, ice blocks etc) basically anything that he can sneak quickly.
He eats breakfast (maybe a hot cross bun, yogurt with fruit or a smoothie). Takes fruit, muesli bar, pack of chips for recess, meat roll for lunch and will come home and eat a pasta meal, 3 sushi rolls or home made pizza as snack. Will eat dinner and a large serving at that. Constantly finding snacks missing and then all wrappers or bowls/plates etc hidden in his room. He will deny eating it. I don't buy heaps of snacks and what I do is suppose to last all kids for recess mostly as I also have healthy home made muffins, bars, balls, cut up fruit/veg sticks etc for snacks that is available all the time.
He is the eldest and I understand he's a growing teenager but honestly the amount of sweet stuff is giving me anxiety he is going to get diabetes or something. He's a slim build, plays alot of sport, not over weight but all the unhealthy food can't be any good. If I don't buy anything or hide food, then he uses his own money to buy chips/lollies, soft drink, slushies etc (earns his own money). It's not even the food that worries me the most but the lying about it. He will swear black and blue he didn't eat his siblings birthday chocolates and then I find wrappers under his mattress or inside a shoe in his room. How do I get this to stop? The sneaking is hard as he is home alone for 2 hours while I'm still at work or working from home (in another room) he has even been caught at 3am sneaking food. He has a list of things he can eat during this time which he does and he will ring or come and ask me for other things, just not the sweet stuff mostly.
And then the lying? How can I get this to stop, I'm worried it will lead to worse off lying?
** to add I've also bought him protein to make up in a shake to stay fuller for longer for him to have also. This is one advice from a dietitian who has also stated the amount of junk food is a concern however his healthy eating is pretty good.
** I don't think it's a hunger thing, more so a sugar/sweet addiction as he gets tummy pain when he's eaten alot of this stuff.
16 Replies
the fact that you refer to your child eating food in his own home as "sneaking" food is the biggest red flag in this post, no wonder he lies.
my son would snack all day with his appetite, so i make him big meals to fill him up.
your dinners aren't enough, filling him up on protein shakes is a terrible idea.
i suggest you go to a dietician and get advice on how to feed your teen.
The reason I say sneaking rather just eating is mainly sugary/sweets I buy are for treats for the whole family.. eg a box of ice creams. If I've told him they are for dessert tomorrow night I will find one or 2 eaten within 24hours and rubbish hidden in his room. Same with recess snacks i buy (there is an after school box available).He has access to fruit, a box of snacks for after school, premade pasta meals, sushi etc.. he will snack on everything but will SNEAK the things I have said not too..
Actually the protein shakes are recommended by a dietitian combined with a healthy snack so I don't know why you would say that's a terrible idea? I know how to feed my teen thanks especially on advice from a dietitian. Growing teenagers need a variety of carbs and protein especially when they are into high level sports like my son. He isn't hungry when snacking on these sweet treats- he has stated this himself to the dietitian.
Your comment was rather unhelpful, full of assumptions as well as offering no advice that what has been said. You instead accused me of starving my son which is untrue. Next time maybe read the post and you would have seen that it's only sugary or sweeter stuff he's sneaking and food is available all time just not certain things he's snacking. I'm sure if you bought a box of icecreams for the whole family, you wouldn't expect your son to eat half of them within 24hrs and hide the packet?
if you've seen a professional dietician, why are you on here seeking advice?
https://dietitianforkids.com.au/protein-powder-for-teenagers-good-or-bad/
My 2 questions were
1- how do I get him to stop sneaking food?
2- How to get him to stop lying about it?
I never asked on advice what to feed my son or if protein shakes are bad. They were advised to be given with a healthy snack (as I posted). He plays high level sport, trains and plays 6 days per week which is why an extra supplement being a protein shake was advised. He eats alot, it's just the sweet treats I buy I have a problem with him taking. If I don't buy them he will use his own money to buy stuff as stated in the post also. Next time read what I've posted. You read the first line and my added extras at the end and made an assumption.
you. feed. him. more. he. is. snacking.
you stop making eating a crime and something to be ashamed of and he will stop lying.
as i said, biggest red flag in the post.
He doesn't want more.. he claims he is full when asked.
You obviously don't have kids are just a fool to actually understand. He ISNT hungry.
Obviously you are not helpful like pretty much everyone else has been. You still couldn't answer the questions.
I know your heart must be in the right place. I have a teenage son and one that's about to go through this. Their food intake is insane and I was really stresses about them eating things in moderation, like ice cream etc. I mean, we buy a box of 4 as a treat to have one each but these boys!!!
Anyhow, I have had to take a step back about constantly monitoring the food. I made heaps of stuff and have wraps, wholemeal bread, tuna, chicken and lots of other stuff on offer. What I don't want to do, is to be hyper-focused on food intake because I don't want to have long term negative association with food. I don't want him bingeing etc. just provide heaps of food options and may be try not to even mention food? See how that goes for say 6 months. I just think that the more you control, the more he could be tempted to sneak and hide.
And and my boys train 5 days a week so I get the whole appetite thing!
I have a box of after school snacks, he has premade pasta, sushi, homemade pizza etc readily available- Some are home made and some are store bought. There is probably a good mix of healthier food as well as sometimes foods and I don't heavily monitor what and when he eats (unless it's within 45mins of me serving dinner!). It's literally the box of chocolates (another child's present), a box of iceceams or something else I have bought for dessert, whole packet of super doopers that I bought in the heat wave etc that I have a problem with. It's a rather large intake of sugar aswell as eating everything else he eats. And then he lies about eating the snack if I ask where something is (don't even ask him directly but the family if they have noved something) but then when I'm cleaning his room days later, I will find the rubbish etc. I don't even notice he's eaten some things until I find the rubbish!! It's insane.
I get what you're going through because my stepson was like this. It caused many arguments as well because I knew it was stepson but my partner would say you don't know which kid did it because he would always say no it wasn't him when asked. I ended up hiding things that had to be shared and only bringing them out when everyone was around to eat it. When you find the proof in his room put the cost of it on a list and tell him he needs to replace it. I also think staying up too late and playing games has a lot to do with it, they are filling up on sugar to stay awake and get energy. If he can't be mature enough to stay awake at night without eating everything then don't allow him to do it anymore. Turn the wifi off at a certain time, take his stuff if needed.
OP here.. he's not staying awake to all of of night. He wakes up. I check him before I go to bed and he's always asleep.
In all honesty, sometimes no restrictions regarding food can be as problematic as having too many restrictions regarding food. Sounds like he's had free reign for so long that now he has absolutely no impulse control when it comes to food!
Aside from fruit, bread and eggs (that we always have an abundance of) the fridge and pantry are not a free for all in my house. My kids do not get snack foods or treats without asking me or their dad first.
It's not because I've demonised food or eating but because I don't have unlimited funds to keep topping up on groceries and I've never allowed my kids to be selfish with food, what I buy has to go around 5 people.
Your concerns are valid - I grew up like this, I'd think nothing of scoffing down half a kilo of ham or a whole sleeve of Timtams.
It 100% led me to having very dysfunctional (possibly even disordered) eating habits well into my adult years. My weight and health definitely suffered as a result!
I'd combat this in a couple of ways:
Firstly, id make him replace items, he has access to his own money so if he wants to eat his siblings birthday chocolates or a box of icecream intended for the whole family off to the shops he goes to replace it. Wasting his own money will get old fast and it's an action relative consequence.
Secondly, I'd stop buying the pre packaged convenience items. They are nothing but boredom busters! A teenager isn't going to opt for a more nutritious option if there's Tiny Teddies or chips. The home made snacks you make along side fruit and leftovers etc, is more than enough options.
If it's true, put in your post that you've already seeked the services of a dietician. I think that's a pretty big thing to miss including, but you've said it in the comments as an afterthought. Just so rude women in the comments to come don't jump on it. Because as you can see, they will.
I have added. Yes I probably should have stated that the protein shakes was on advice from a dietitian. Thanks
Just let the kid eat. If he is eating a healthy breakfast, lunch and dinner that you are providing. Let him snack all he wants. You said he is a healthy weight and plays sport. He is hungry and growing. There is no problem here. Just allow the kid so eat in between meals. The reason this poor kid is lying about the food is because you are on his case about it and not allowing him to listen to his body and eat. If he is eating all the ice-cream buy some more.
Normally I would but as he has seen a dietitian and it is a case of concern for him on how much junk good he is sneaking. Wouldn't be a problem if it was even slightly healthier snacks! Unfortunately I'm not about to spend stupid amounts of money on icecream for him much to his dismay
OP here.
Thanks to everyone that has given helpful advice. I have edited my post to say he has seen a dietitian who put him onto protein drinks if he's feeling hungry. It has been established he's not hungry but just a likes snacks and sweet ones. The cause of concern isn't from the healthy stuff he eats, he is eating enough of that. It's all the sweet stuff. He also goes to sleep at a reasonable time but wakes up through the night and snacks.
I have now made him replace all items he takes and basically the whole house now has no treats unless I buy them right before we are going to eat them.