When I was a child I had a controlling mother and I ended our relationship when after 11 miscarriages she wanted me to terminate my last baby as she was high chance of Down syndrome.
Fast forward I have 3 daughters and I have been an open caring loving mum with basic rules like be nice respectful clean up etc and give the kids freedom within reason.
Eldest has boyfriend for a year and she’s 16 he’s 19. During the year together he has shown signs of DV. 2 big things happened recently 1. He asked for sex she said no and he did anyway then cried and 2. Hit her with 2 hands on sides of her face so hard her ears hurt.
I spoke up and said these are not ok and she’s now saying was just playing around and she didnt really say no so wasn’t rape. They were already sexually active but still she said no.
Anyway since speaking up and telling him it’s not ok she moved out. She’s been angry teenager for number of years prior so I put my foot down and said this house has rules for everyone and that means everyone needs to be respectful.
She’s living with him and his mother and they have convinced her within 2 weeks I am toxic and controlling and the car I paid for for her to learn to drive and be independent is a trick because it’s in my name not hers. Paid $6k and she agreed to pay back $3k plus all bills rego etc. it’s her car but in my name so it was cheaper. According to him and his mum this was all a trick to control her.
She has said and done some horrible things last few weeks and the words she has told me
No mother of hers
I’m crazy
Petty and lazy
F bitch
Toxic and controlling
Her dad is better than me but she hates him and I deserved to be cheated on by him
She hated my mum for what she did with her sister but since our fight she’s reconnected with her
I know all of this is to make me mad but it’s truly broken me.
She has hit me twice and recorded our heightened discussions which I didn’t know about. I stayed calm and said her behaviour isn’t ok and I had to stand up and protect her.
Mentally I just can’t go on because I raised a beautiful young woman and was so close to and now she hates me and I’m so lost on how to get her to see her relationship is DV and that I love her endlessly
Mumma who’s heart is shuttered 😭
Broken Mum of teenager in DV relationship
Broken Mum of teenager in DV relationship
Posted in:
Teenagers, Tips and Advice
3 Replies
This is a mess. Police should have been called immediately when she was raped and assaulted but you can’t go back in time unfortunately I don’t think there’s anything you can do now she’s living there with her abuser but support her when or if she’s ever is ready to leave. I wish you luck
I wanted to call the police but sadly she will never tell police the truth 😭
Give her the money back that she's paid for the car then sell it, she can organise her own since she's being ungrateful and she can see how hard it is to save for a car at her age. The other stuff although they are serious subjects, it actually sounds like petty arguing/mucking around between the two of them. Dont be guilt tripped by her, put your foot down.