Hi ladies. Recently I had an appointment with a male gynaecologist. I'd like your opinion on 2 things he said to me that I cant shake out of my brain. 1. most women prefer to have a period than to not have one, and 2. most women get through menopause quite fine. I thought the opposite would be true, am I wrong?
I am seeing him again shortly and would like to take a response back based on a number of peoples opinion.
15 Replies
Wtf? What stupid comments. I'd be looking for a new gynecologist asap
Umm… For a gynaecologist, he doesn’t know women very well, does he?
I would much prefer not to have a period. I’ve suffered from hormonal migraines for about 15 years. I’d been suffering from migraines for over 10 years before that, then my hormones decided they wanted to play that game too. I went off the pill at 35 because, with my history of migraines, I was at a slightly higher risk of stroke if I continued taking the pill. Without periods, hopefully the hormonal migraines will stop. I regularly skipped periods while on the pill, with approval from my GP, just to avoid the migraines.
I’m now 44 and perimenopausal, unfortunately still getting regular periods. I am over it! The night sweats, the fatigue, the moods, the cramps. For 30 years I had very few issues with my cycle, until the hormonal migraines started, and now I’m copping just about everything. I keep getting sucked down rabbit holes on threads about perimenopause. Lots of women are having issues. I would guess that a very low percentage of women get through to full menopause without any issues.
If you’re seeing a gynaecologist, I’m assuming you’re having issues with your cycle, based on what he’s said. Tell him to pull his head in and listen to you so he can help you sort out what’s going on. If he keeps downplaying your symptoms, find another doctor.
I don't think its right for Dr's to generalise people like that, nothing to do with the sex of the Dr. In saying that I don't think he's wrong. Everyone is different. Personally I have been getting my period for 30 years except for pregnancies and when I had the mirena. I oddly missed getting my periods. I think they are gross when I do have them but they've never been painful or caused any discomfort. It seems they kind of "clean me out" and keep things healthy. I've heard horror stories about menopause so I'm not looking forward to that stage of my life but like everything, people who have had a negative experience are going to be the ones talking about it. People who didn't have any issues probably wouldn't feel the need to talk about their experience. So even if its the minority that have experienced bad menopause symptoms or resent periods, they are going to be the majority of the stories you hear, making you think its more common than it is. Its like going to a restaurant and having an average experience, nothing bad but nothing really amazing either, you're probably not going to leave a review. But you would want to tell people if it was the worst service you've ever had or the best.
Yes and no. Periods are annoying but I'm also used to them and I feel better having them in the end. Periods tell us we are healthy and not pregnant. Not always but it's the usual. Some people have been pregnant and not realised because they don't usually get Periods or they were taking the pill but still got pregnant. This is actually very dangerous. If most woman didn't want their period they would take the pill but they don't. It is true many people get through menopause ok. Doesn't mean it's a cake walk but everyone is different. There is also hormones you can take to make it easier. My mum had a bad time but her friend was fine. I think a doctor who specialises in area knows because he's spoken to many woman. You only have your experiences and the people you know. He has hundreds of experiences and all his doctor and nurses who blab to him about theirs.
Women who have hysterectomies quite young struggle emotionally at losing menstruation. And most women on the pill take the sugar pills and have a period rather than skip it, even though you can if you want. He's talking broadly and not from the perspective that you are thinking of.
Also, menopause is, for the majority of women, mild symptoms and able to be well managed. That doesn't mean it's enjoyable or easy, but he's comparing it to the small number of women that have significant and debilitating symptoms.
Everyone I know who has had a hysterectomy has been much happier afterwards and skipping periods while on the pill doesn't work for a lot of women so that's probably why.
It's restricted to certain circumstances and is not recommended in a wide range of scenarios that it was in the past because of the impact on mental health that many women do experience.
1. I'd much rather not have a period that have one. It was one of the best parts of being pregnant! When they invented the Mirena and I lost my period forever - yippee!! Not having a period doesn't make me less a woman or less feminine, it just is one less job ;)
2. What's 'just fine'? Sounds like mansplaining to me. I had preimenopause at 42 and completely through menopause and out the other side by 52. Symptom wise I'd say I had less discomfort than my friends. But I'm sure if a man had to go through menopause they would have found better solutions by now...
Man or woman, this gyno needs some lessons in empathy.
I wish the mirena took away my period 😪 instead it made me bleed non stop for 3 months
HAHAHAHA to the first one! I have had super painful periods since after having my kids. It has affected my work and also my mental health. I have been on 7 different types of birth control and not a single one helped or stopped my period. I've had about a million tests, ultrasounds, tried so many medications and NOTHING has helped my painful periods. I have FINALLY, after asking for years and doing every single test and taken every medication suggested and been on so many different birth controls and having nothing help, been approved for a hysterectomy at 32 and I could NOT be happier to be rid of periods forever!!!
I've had a lot of gynaecologists over the past 15 years, men and women. I don't find these comments that unusual? I just think context is a factor.
My 1st period at 14 was flooding and I struggled with pain, clots, irregularities, pms, bloating, cravings
I did find that after pregnancies it was slightly better as in less pain
But I started peri at 45 and it was really bad
I was flooding and using maternity pads changed every hour because they were full
It was exhausting physically
This went on for years and eventually my cycles were less and less until I had 4 a year, then 2 a year, and finally nothing now for 18 months
No period is a blessing now
Officially menopause at 52
I’m calmer too with no pms
Your doctor is talking bullshit
Will add I did go through the rest okay
I’m hotter now but no flushes and I did gain weight
My concern with losing ovaries is losing hormones
I am not advocating that at all
I did mine without birth control as I think it does more damage than good
Losing hormones would not be ideal
I preferred getting my period and I’m 4 years past menopause (happened when I was 50) and I had very little issues with menopause.