I had dinner with my sister and her family tonight. On the way home my 15yo son asked me if I noticed the way his step father interacted with his 19yo female cousin (we were in separate cars). I asked him what he meant and he said for example the way he held a conversation with BIL was quiet and when he spoke to the cousin he was very energetic and hinted at flirting. He said he doesn’t talk to anyone else with this energy and is never like this at home.
My son doesn’t normally talk about his feelings but openly talked about how this bothered him. What really cements it is I have observed this exact behaviour on a few occasions over the past 12 months but thought I was going crazy and imagining it. 100% not reciprocated by my niece, she would be mortified knowing we have spoken about this.
Any advice on what I should do? I’m lying here feeling sick that my son has picked up on this and that perhaps I wasn’t imagining it.
5 Replies
This is wrong on so many levels and it would be a deal-breaker for me. This is unfixable in my book, imagine what he's capable of when noone is around. Yuk, I couldn't touch the slime ball.
Gross. I mean, you could let him know he was being a peacock and people noticed. Do not ever throw your son under that bus.
But you’re not going to change a man, he’ll just hide it from you. If you’ve noticed it, he does it, and other people notice it too. Ick.
I am proud of your son, for not only noticing but for speaking up. It sounds like your partner needs to explain himself. I would not make it entirely what you have observed and not mention your son at all to protect him.
Yikes. Leave immediately. That’s a massive red flag and the fact your son bought it up speaks volumes
Remember too, your son is watching, seeing how relationships work and how adult men should behave. I wouldn't want this drop kick in my household, what a terrible role model. Also, your poor niece, you are bringing a sleazy old man into her life too.