This is really just a vent but I’m struggling and hoping for some kind words to lift me up. I had a great relationship with a man I adored, we were together for just over a year, had wonderful times together and had so much in common…or so I thought. Three months ago I discovered he was cheating and when I confronted him, he refused to speak with me, completely wiped me and has never once offered an apology or explanation. I was utterly devastated. He’s still with that person, playing happy families and I feel lost, lonely and having a difficult time moving on. I want the feeling of missing him to stop, I want the sadness to go away but it’s consuming me and I hate it. It’s really just a vent but I’m struggling to understand why he would treat me like this. I feel stupid for being so giving of my time and energy, not to mention my heart which is broken. I’m stuck and want to move on but have no desire to date again out of fear it will happen again. I just don’t know what to do.
2 Replies
I think you need to accept the man you fell in love with and had so much in common with was a fantasy, a charade, he doesn't exist. Love is always a risk, but at least you were brave enough to get back out there and take a chance. At least you only wasted a year, I hope you feel better soon x
He hid who he was and it's a really painful thing to go through. That being said, he did you a massive favour by choosing the other woman. If he cheats once, he will cheat again and again. Sounds like you dodged the narcissist bullet!
Yes you will grieve this relationship or who you thought he was. Remind yourself he was not the man you thought he was, it's all an act and obviously he cannot keep it up long term. He probably chose the other woman because she was easier to control and manipulate.
Definitely date again but take it slow and really get to know them. They cannot hide those red flags forever. I repartnered and have had a long term healthy relationship but I had to reject a whole lot of toxic men after dating them and learning to see through them.
You will be okay xx onwards and upwards