14yr old son is up for possible suspension due to reports he is making girls uncomfortable.
Recently my son has been reported for approaching, talking to, touching (arms,wrists, shoulders and hips) 2 year 7 girls. He has also reportedly tried tickling them.
I am by no means making excuses for this behaviour and right now, I’m so damn angry I don’t know what to do with myself- or him.
He is ADHD, and has a Speech and language impairment so struggles to interpret word meaning and body language cues. He has always had issues with personal space since he was born and has received hours and hours of OT, therapy, paed intervention and training to understand. This hasn’t been an issue for a number of years now but has sprung forward. Obviously hormones are running rampant which is not helping.
Does anyone have experience with how I could possibly approach this? Any methods to help him understand what his actions could lead to consequence wise? I’ve tried but he just doesn’t seem to get it.
One very worried mum…. 😞
2 Replies
Consequences. He needs firm consequences every time. you’re right he is close to being an adult and it becomes physical and sexual assault. But even as a child, what he’s doing is not ok. It’s ok to him, because he’s living in his world his concern is for himself, whatever he wants, and in that moment. No concern for the impacts on them, or on himself socially long-
So two parts to it, in my opinion. Helping with the communication issue and impulse control in that moment.
Social skills classes, social stories daily, explicit teaching and modelling of not touching other people, what to do instead, all of that. I would make a very clear rule and go over it daily.
And consistent consequences. Consistent and firm consequences that will impact him strongly enough to make him decide he needs to start thinking about it and doing the alternatives he’s being taught instead. Every single time he has a consequence, you discuss again - what rule did he break, what should he have done instead.
No acess to any technology for a start. Professional help is prob the only way to go here. He needs someone to get this important message across to him that it isn’t ok. He will have kids turn on him also and be bullied if this isn’t dealt with. He could end up in so much trouble. What a worry for you.