I have just found out my daughter is cutting her self she has endured a year of horrific bullying in her last year of primary school and I thought for the most part it had stopped since we are changing school and starting fresh for high school but apparently they are still going online and a few nights ago she sat in her room crying and cutting her self. I really just want advice on how to move forward obviously getting her a therapist is top priority but how can I help her too how can I help my self I feel so broken and like I totally let her down I can’t stop crying she is okay in all other senses her usual sassy happy self but obviously deep down she’s hurting
Self harm and pre teens
Self harm and pre teens
Posted in:
Mental Health, Parenthood Guilt, Teenagers, Tips and Advice, Puberty
5 Replies
If she hurts herself or threatens self harm again, you take her straight to emergency. If she won’t get in the car, then call an ambulance. In the meantime, strict parental controls on who she can talk to online. It is hard to get into psychologists, so get to the GP for a mental health care plan as soon as you can. Get a plan for yourself as well if you think it will help. Speak to the school guidance officer so they are aware of what has happened and what the plan is going forward. They will be able to check in with her at school to see how she is going. Keep the lines of communication open between you and your daughter. Maybe encourage her to spend more time in family areas, so she’s not sitting in her room stressing over everything.
Take screenshots and show the old school and their parents, tell them you will be reporting to police. You've changed schools so you really have nothing to lose. Also make sure she has blocked them on everything and maybe a break from social media until she's mentally well.
I'm an old cutter, went back to it last year after a massive upheaval and everything I'd learned just couldn't keep up. It's an ongoing battle, there will be lapses.
Find out the reason she's doing it. Is it for the pain? (Rubber band on the wrist to flick). Is it for the visual sign? (Markers to draw where she would otherwise cut). Then distract with a safer alternative until such time as you can get her in to learn the coping strategies she'll need for long term emotional balance.
Don't be disappointed. SHE'S disappointed, she doesn't need it from you. Just support, support, support.
As parents we all hurt when our babies hurt. Don't stress that side of things. You should hurt when she hurts. Work on building her up to the point where the opinion of a bunch of stuck up, two faced bitches means less to her than dog shit on her shoe.
This will pass. Hang in there.
This is why my kids teens aren’t allowed acess to anyone online and done have phones.
I see this way too much. How heartbreaking as a mum to go through this. If they can’t reach her online they can’t bully her that way. Take it away and maybe try a new school
In a
Different area to meet new friends. Poor kid, it’s awful. So many kids are cruel. If she cuts her self again or threatens self harm
Ring
000 they’ll get her the help she needs through the hosp. Good luck Mumma I hope things get better soon.
If she's 12 get her into Headspace