When it comes to personality differences between 2 people in a relationship, at what point do they become a dealbreaker? My partner and I have different views on a lot of things. Eg he’s a bit of a conspiracy theorist, refuses to wear a mask or do check-ins for contact tracing. He won’t wear shoes in public, which I think is gross. When it comes to housework, his idea of “clean” is a lot different to mine (we don’t live together and most likely never will because of this). We have different political views, and different parenting styles (no kids together). Even in general conversation I get annoyed because he’s supposedly an expert and implies that I’m wrong, even on a subject that I have educated myself about. There are some good points, but because of these differences I don’t see a future with this person. Am I being petty?
14 Replies
Why would you stay with him? You are not being petty, you are being too forgiving.
I hope you have your contraception really under control, you don’t want a pregnancy with this guy.
Differing personality traits can and do work.
Entirely opposing philosophies towards life as a whole and vastly differing moral standpoints do not, you will get nothing but conflict and disharmony.
You have described the latter here.
It's not petty to want your life partner to be on the same sort of wavelength as you and if you can't see a future with this person, it's all moot anyway.
Not being petty at all. You don't have to have a good reason to split with someone.
This person maybe perfect for someone (not sure who?! 😆) but I wouldn’t tolerate those traits. Def not petty! You could be so much happier with someone more like minded. You’ve only one life, live it with someone you connect with.
Also I’ve seen people tolerate partners with major differences and it ends up affecting their other relationships with family and friends. Family members don’t want to include the annoying partner and it causes distance. Don’t do it!
Oh mate just because you've beem together for xxx amount of time, doesn't mean you have to stay together.
You are clearly clashing and the fact you don't see yourselves moving on together any time in the future makes me wonder why you're bothing with the relationship at all, other than breaks ups are initially hard.
I wouldn't waste any more time with the relationship. You're reasons aren't petty at all.
Oohhh hell no. If he's rubbing you the wrong way like this don't stay. Red flags everywhere
No. I find closed minded people only get more closed..
Its not petty - it is smart!
I would be getting out before you have kids! What a selfish person to not wear a mask and check in. Shows what type of arrogant person he is. Thinks of himself. Why stay with someone who would suck the life out of you. RUUUUUNNNN…!!!!!
Not petty! You are very smart to recognise this now get out
No deal. If you already don't like him, guess how those things will bore and grate you in five years time.
Not petty at all, I'm tired just reading that. What exactly would you enjoy about a relationship like that? Oof
My hubby and I are like chalk and cheese, however we agree on the important stuff.
I think its all about how you navigate those differences as a couple.
My husband is super clean, he works towards relaxing a little bit and I work towards being cleaner. We meet in the middle. If we disagree on something we talk about it like adults, both of us are open to changing our minds, although he can be a little stubborn, but he recognises that. We can call each other out on stuff and its not a big drama.
Hope that helps!
Hi you are not being petty, but I don't think it is relationship you should pursue. You don't seem happy now, if you children together it gets worse. I know me my husband are splitting because of different personalities. Love dies.
Good luck.
That's not petty.
Being a conspiracy theorists and not wearing a mask etc would be a biiiiiiig deal breaker for me. We're in such a tough time during our lives and we all need to work together to get through it (I may be overly sensitive to that point because I have an at risk dad), but I have extreme asthma and still wear a mask for every time I'm out and 10+ hours at work.
Parenting styles I think will also cause issues once kids comes. You need to agree on how to raise a child, because that's a big step.
Although, my husband and I have different general personalities, like he is the cleaner and the planner where as I am the chilled out lazy one lol. We work well with that together, but when it comes to the big things we agree on it all.
I think you can make a relationship work when you can agree on the basics. Not big aspects like some of those that you've listed. They are big red flags.