This is so hard for me to write. I get teary and panicky whenever I think about this. It breaks my heart what happened to my son. I have nightmares and it feels like I just carry a dark storm with me wherever I go. My whole being hurts and is tormented by what happened.
It happened in March. My 6 yo son stayed over at his best friends house (the kids mum was also my best friend and neighbour).
He came home telling me that the kids dad hopped in bed with him, and that the kid went downstairs to give their mum a hug good night. He then asked my son if he was hot, and told him he would sleep better if he took off his pants. He then proceeded to touch his penis in a rubbing motion at least 10 times. My son was unable to move away.
He told me straight away when he got home, and we I called the police. 2 patrol and 2 detectives came and spoke to him. He reiterated what happened to them.
He was then sent for a forensic interview with a child psychologist and he reiterated the story to her as well. He is an extremely bright child, and the psych said that he told everything in perfect sequence, with lots of detail and was able to correct her when she got things wrong. This was filmed and will be used as testimony in court (if we proceed)
This guy had also just been approved to be a foster career. I made sure that won’t be happening anymore.
After this, the perpetrator was arrested and he is currently on bail. We literally have to drive past his house to leave our street.
My son seems to be the saddest about losing his best friend. In the first few weeks we would often talk about the sexual abuse, and how it made him feel ‘sad’.
He hasn’t mentioned it for a while. I don’t know if I should be bringing it up with him? What should I say? I want to know if he want to speak to a counsellor. On the other hand, what if I am dragging him back in to the darkness by raising it with him?
It’s also so hard to know if I should proceed with court action, resulting in possible jail time for the perp. My son would need to be cross examined. Are there any mums out there whose kids have been cross examined? What was it like? Could that experience be harmful in itself?
It also kills me inside that my ex friend doesn’t believe a word of it, and is sticking by him. Even though child protection said he wasn’t able to live there for a while, and he’s not allowed kids who aren’t his own. He applied to alter his bail conditions and return home, which was approved. What if something happens to them too?
I’m co confused, broken for my son, and I just want the very best for him.