I’m stuck as to what to do I’ve been with my partner for 4 years we have 14 month old and I have two kids from a previous relationship I financially support all three kids from my income eg school fees clothes food nappies pretty much everything the only thing my partner pays for is half the 14 months childcare then he insists we go half on everything else from dinners out down to the phone bill now I’m drowning trying to keep up I work full time I pick up extra work when I can but every time I do it’s a problem for him to watch our child he also earns twice my income my question is I’m being to feel very resentful and I’m wondering is this normal is this how other blended families divide there income
21 Replies
No it's not normal, he's being stingy. I would say leave but then I'm just over men's shit so I would probably say leave if your issue was the toilet seat getting left up.
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God what a pig. Was probably why his last relationship failed
Look up signs of financial abuse. Then look more seriously into the long term effevts and impacts on you of abuse. Its not just a label, it will destroy you. Youre already confused about whats ok and whats normal.
This is a horrible situation he is putting you in. Very selfish and unkind to watch you and therefore the family struggle financially.
You will do better on your own. He sounds so selfish!
He is treating you like you arent together. Show him what that means. He sounds like a selfish pig. If he can sit back and watch you drowning while you work you butt off for your family, then pack his bags & do it alone.
He earns twice the income? What a jerk! Does he not think of you and your kids.
This is financial abuse. They are his kids too. He shouldn't have had one if he wasn't prepared to support the child and it's mother (he knew you had two when he got involved). Not just money, but participate in family life. You are a family, not a possession. It wouldn't matter if he earned more, or less. IMO Pooled funds into family and then budget for everyone's well-being. Personally, I think you can do so much better. What's he bringing to this relationship? If he was run over by a bus tomorrow, besides being sad, what would change in your world? I bet if you're honest, you would have a lot less stress and a lot more freedom. Financially you would be better off too... Read the Barefoot Investor. Ask your partner if he's prepared to come on board, and if not, show him the door. We women have GOT TO STOP making excuses for the slack men that leech off us. You are worth so much more!! You've got this mumma!
Preach 🙌
Seriously how do women end up with men like this let alone have kids with them. This is not normal. This is abuse. Financially, you would be better off without him and having him pay child support.
You are responsible for your two kids plus half of all joint expenses including your 14 month old.
In our blended house of 5 (1 my child and 2 our children) we split everything (rent, phone, power, water) 3/5 to me and 2/5 to him. He earns more but that’s fine. My children are my responsibility. Any costs relating to your joint child should be split 1/2
Not always the best way when your income drops when you move in with someone and has had another child so limited working. Some mums income drops to zero when they move in with someone, the partner definitely needs to step up and support everyone or why bother getting in a relationship with someone who already has kids.
She has an income. Her children with another man do not become this new mans responsibility.
Never become dependent on another human. That’s where the risk lies. He’s not abusing her. He’s just maintaining his financial independence which he has every right to do.
He doesnt pay a thing for his own kid, bills her for what he spends on her and wont look after even his own child. Shes struggling with carrying it all and getting a bit of down time and hes watching. He has evrry right to do this? To maintain his independence?
I guess he does, but good luck to him hoping any woman would stick around for it.
OP, if you were to split you and would get subsidized child care on your portion and most likely some SPP and FTB to help you since youre single qith 3 kids. Plus a nice payment from him thats got to be morw than he puts in now, plus an agreement so there would be lockdd in times where he would have the child and you can plan down time.
You would be heaps better off. Not to mention that its so much easier alone that in a house with an adult that makes you sad, angry, frustrated, stressed.
Well see how he likes his financial independence when he loses half his house and has to pay child support for the next 17 years.
I would leave his arse he is a prick!
This is why I'd rather stay single.
Being a single parent and struggling financially is tough but not as tough as being in a partnership with someone who earns twice as much as you who STILL leaves you struggling financially and makes it difficult for you to earn more money when the opportunity arises because parenting his own child is a "problem".
Fuck that...
Me too!
Not sure for others but here's the way my house works.
I have 1 from previous relationship and 2 with my partner. I earn alot more then what my partner does. All money goes into the same account and we both have a card to the account. The money is shared equally as are the bills etc.
All money should go into a joint account you both have access to. Bills and everything get paid out of joint account.