How do I stop enabling someone? Someone in my household is using illicit drugs. When they can’t access them they smash things and scream at people. I’ve been giving this person money. I need and want to stop as I know it’s wrong and I’m not helping. I’m scared I’ll get arrested and I don’t know how to get the help I need and get help for them too, because they don’t want help.
9 Replies
You won't get arrested. Next time it happens say you are just going to get money out (say locked out of internet banking if thats the normal way you do it) get any kids in the car, drive away. Tell the person that you are not going to give them money, then call the cops to tell them they are smashing your house up and you want them removed.
Why would you be arrested?
If they start smashing and screaming, call the police.
Because this person is underage and I gave them money for weed and drinks :(
The police will care more about the fact you’ve stopped and want to support you in stopping.
Is the underage person your child?
Yes he is. I feel so ashamed I’ve allowed this to happen.
They will be more helpful than you think! The last thing they will do is charge you in this situation, yes its possible but highly likely they will use their discretion and choose not to. Get this kid the help he needs which means police involvement. It will happen sooner or later anyway, if you dont do it a neighbour or a girlfriend will.
That fear is actually what they use to hold over you to keep you where they want you, which is not changing anything.
You have to say to yourself and to them, Fucl the consequences I am not putting up with this anymore, I will admit to everything up to now as long as the future changes. And it will. But you need to change it. It wont changeif you keep doing the same thing
If they dont want help theres nothing you can do except remove them from your life. Out of your home, call the police if they make threats break things or leave. Yes, even family. Do not give them anything and do not be near them or be in conversation with them or alone with them if they sway or intimidate you.
This !!! It's the only way. Totally this!