I have a 4 year old daughter and I’m a single mum. My daughter goes to my mums once a week while I go to work. Whenever I pick her up or she gets home she cries and says she wants my mum and doesn’t want to stay with me. It’s now extended to when she gets upset she will sometimes say she wants my mum. Now don’t get me wrong I love the fact she is so comfortable with my mum but I can’t help but feel she loves her more. I don’t know if maybe it’s to do with her dad not being around or something but is this normal or am I just a shitty mum
8 Replies
My 3 year old kiddo screams every time I go to daycare.... not cause I’m dropping him off but because I’m picking him up to come home 🤦🏻♀️ Sometimes he ever screams for his daycare teacher at night - way to make a mumma feel loved.
I think it’s an age thing. Sometimes kids are lovable little bum heads 😂
Pretty normal because grandma will pander to her more and let her get away with more etc.
This is really normal.. and can happen with mum/dad and in your case grandparent.. don’t take it to heart
Really normal. My 3-4 yo at the time went to calling Nanna mum whenever I was around and when having tantrums go I don’t love you I love my other mum. Way to be a kick in the gut! She grew out of it after a year!
This is completely normal!
I was in the same situation and the exact same thing happened.
If dad was in the picture, there would be times they would cry for dad too - it can just be whose not there in the moment - especially if they get in trouble for something.
My daughter is now 10 and still loves her grandma and loves spending time with her but the bond between us has grown more - she also understands the role of grandma alot more and respects that.
Honestly don't let it get to you - kids know how to play adults and sometime we can take it too personally.
Maybe you could look at child care for the day and have her less relying on your mum. Your mum is also prob not tough on her and let’s her do what she wants, which kids love. It’s nothing to do with you.
It’s the same scenario when there’s ‘fun dad’ and ‘business mum’
I spend my day cleaning, feeding, cooking for everyone (all whilst looking after the breastfed baby) and everything else in between. I drag the kids grocery shopping, and running errands. Dad swoops in at the end of the day once dinner has been finished and gets fun bath time and play before bed.
So, of course they want him over me when things get tough, he’s fun and doesn’t have to ever say no to the kids
It would be the same as your mum. She can give her undivided attention because anything house related can get done once she goes home to you.
I would say its because at Nanna's she can do what she likes, eat what she want and Nanna probably doesn't have many rules. Nanna is probably doing all the things your daughtet wants to do. As Nanna wouldn't stress of the normal every day chores and errands getting in the way because she only has her for one day.
If she went to Nanna's more and had rules and punishment it would be a different story.
You are not a shitty mum and she does love you. You are doing great