Tonight I lost it and smacked my daughter. Not hard, and it’s the first time.
I grew up in a physically and emotionally abusive household and swore to myself I would never let my children experience the same.
My almost four year old daughter has me at my limits though. She’s violent. We are not violent, ever, her dad and I barely even fight and never where she can hear. She does not get to watch aggressive tv and does not play video games.
Tonight because I turned her audiobook off and said it was bed time my baby decided it was okay to not just slap me but punch, kick, bite and even try and pull my face off in anger.
I tried to get her off but she’s too heavy for me to lift and I ended up smacking her on the leg to shock her into letting up enough that I could move.
Her dad heard me crying and took her to her room. I eventually calmed down and went to apologise for hitting her and explain why what she did was not okay. She laughed at me.
Everyone always tells me how lovely and sweet she is, her daycare teachers have glowing reviews of her behaviour. She is never like this for anyone else.
I’m genuinely scared to tell her no anymore for fear that one day she may actually hurt me more than she has already.
It’s not just violence either. She’s verbally aggressive. Telling me and her dad that she hates us and wants new parents. Again she is never like this outside of our house.
Please give me any idea where to go from here. I’m so lost and trying to figure out where we went wrong.