You are a parent
If your child told you that the other parent hit them what would you do?
What would you do?
What would you do?
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Life Lessons, Relationships & Marriage, Parenthood Guilt, Behaviour, Kids
You are a parent
If your child told you that the other parent hit them what would you do?
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15 Replies
I'd want a lot more details and context before I did anything to make sure I wasn't about to go nuts over something that wasn't actually anything bad.
First I would sympathise, hug them, then I would question the details. What happened and why? Then again, question what started it, what did you do, what did parent say, then what, then what, hit in what way, where, how many times, said what, then what, what happened after, etc etc.
Then I would go off my rocker but I know that some people are fine with smacking. If it is smacking in the technical sense (parent thinks theyre punishing behaviour, open hand on leg) then I would ride that parent like a bitch wanting to know what their plan is, where were the three verbal reminders, where was the parent intervention, I would ride them so hard they would think twice every single time because if they can't back it up as a parenting strategy then it's abuse. And let's be honest if they can back it up then it won't get to smacking anyway.
I would also take my kid to a psychologist and get it in writing that smacking is not a positive method of parenting this child and will exacerbate the issues they already have from sharing two homes.
And if it's not 'smacking' then that parent would have police and facs on the way to visit.
I dont know who you are or what you have been through but thank you
I'd want more detail tbh. My stepson would come to us during our 'on' week, saying that his mum hit him. Thankfully my husband kept a cool head, asked lots of questions and then spoke to his ex, who explained what happened. As it turned out, she was being told that we were smacking/hitting my now 16yo SS. In the end, he opened up and owned us to lying to us and his mum for a bit of attention and his mum buying him presents to make him feel better 🤦 in the end, she didn't want her son anymore and he's lived with us for the last 4 years 🤷
My 12 year old told his dad I threw him across the lounge room a few years back.
What actually happened was that he was playing up something shocking, so I'd had enough and I grabbed him by the hand to take him to his room, as i was doing that I tripped on the drink bottle I'd asked him 10 times to pick up. I hit the ground and unfortunately took him down with me.
My son just figured he'd get a bit of sympathy out of his dad when he got home from work as he felt he'd been unjustly punished.
So, context is very important.
I'll answer how I'd tackle this issue if you elaborate. It's very hard to give appropriate advice on a question so vague.
I dont want advice, I'm not asking what to do in my current situation. I'm asking what others would do in any given situation where this would happen
Yeah, you're missing my point. What I'm saying is that there's a ton of variables that make it impossible to answer such a vague question.
It really does depend, how old is the child? What's the parent/child relationship dynamic like under normal circumstances? Is it a domestic violence situation? How serious is the allegation? A "hit" could describe anything from a tap on the bum to a punch in the face...
I guess to give you some form of an answer, if we're talking about what I personally would do - I'd talk to my child and get their version of events then I'd have a calm and rational discussion about it with my husband because we have a healthy relationship, where as someone else being faced with the same situation may need to take an entirely different approach.
How old is this child/ teenager / adult kid?
What sort of 'hit' was it? A tap, a slap, a shove, a punch , a belting, a weapon? I can't comment on this as there's not enough information.
I dont want advice, I'm not asking what to do in my current situation. I'm asking what others would do in any given situation where this would happen
More information still needs to be clarified, it's too vague. There are far too many scenarios on a massive scale here ..
People have repeatedly asked for more information. You can't answer a question when it's so vague. Context and more info is needed.
We smack our kids on the bum when we've given multiple warnings, when they've been absoultely crazy behaviour and at our wits end. So if my partner and I were to break up and my kids come back to tell me after being at Dad's... I would just ask lots of questions from my kid. I'd hope that I'd be able to text my ex and him g i ve me his side of the story (he shouldn't get offended, just a polite asking for the other story since he knows kids can tell fibs) and then get on with it.
It also depends on a lot of things and I am purely talking smacks... Not hitting, bashing ect.
Do you smack the child?
Ask what they did??
Gosh my daughter told her dad I smacked her.
He said “what did you do”
I give my children warnings, I put them in time out and smacking is my last resort. My ex and my partner both know how I parent. They both know I wouldn’t smack any of the children if it didn’t need a smack.
If I was to punch my kid in the face and they told their father I’d expect him to address the issue. But if he wants to accost me for a smack on the bum with a flat palm then he’ll be met with a fight.
But you however do not give enough context for us to give you a reasonable answer to your question.
You’re either ok with smacking or you aren’t. This is between you and the other parent not a everyone else says you’re in the wrong for doing this and this is what I have as proof to prove you are wrong with what you did.
Everyone has the right to parent their children how they wish. If it’s legally allowed then deal with it so. Don’t try and win your battles by trying to get people on the Internet to validate your opinions on the subject. Especially when you’re “not asking for advice” or willingn to elaborate on the situation.
What happened exactly?
I think you're missing the point in responses because you're asking a completely vague question.
Are you asking for an opinion on a hypothetical question or has this happened and you're looking to justify a response?
We agreed no hitting. Husband would not be in my good books at all. Always better ways to handle it than a smack.