I have a 5 year old son who is persistently asking to have a baby brother or sister. He is an only child. The reason my husband and I don’t have more children is because of several reasons. I have infertility issues, I have physical health issues that would make being pregnant, birth, and raising a baby almost impossible, and I have mental health issues that would be upset by hormones and lack of sleep. I take medication that would need to be stopped if pregnant, and for the medication I can still take would mean baby would go through withdrawal. My husband would need to stay home for an extended period of time to help me with a baby. For these reasons, all explained in an age appropriate way to my son, we won’t be having another baby. It just wouldn’t be fair to anyone. But he keeps asking to have a sibling and I feel awful for not being able to have another child. Any advice how to handle this with my son?
Son wants sibling, won’t have another baby
Tuesday, 5 May 2020 - 11:29
Son wants sibling, won’t have another baby
Posted in:
Parenthood Guilt, Kids
7 Replies
My daughter was like this (she’s now 8) but from 4-6 years old always was like when am I getting a sibling if we were out and someone asked her if she had any brothers or sisters she’d put the tears on and go my mum won’t give me a sibling so I have to pretend my barbies are my sisters 😂 come 6-7 she grew out of it and now is happy to be the only child as she realises all her friends get annoyed at their brothers and sisters and there’s more time/money for her 😂
most kids will ask for a baby/sibling at some point. I’m one of three and we all decided at some point we wanted another sibling.
It’s not up to kids though, and you don’t owe your child an explanation, beyond it won’t be happening. Your child is a child and far too young to truly understand why any adult wouldn’t have another baby (with/without your reasons), for a lot of people it’s ‘I’m done’ and we don’t need to explain that to our children.
So the most I’d say from now on is, it’s not going to happen, because I said so.
I was soooooo mad at my mum for only giving me brothers lol I desperately wanted a sister but I survived.
Do you want another though? If you did, maybe you could consider adoption of a slightly older child, past the infant stage. I’m sure there are some out there somewhere.
If you don’t, then your son will survive 😊
My son grew up alone, at 12 he got 2 step siblings, but we only get to see them fortnightly, so for the most part it has always been just him, and he struggles during the time they are there as he is not used to it (he's 18 now btw).
He has had 2 close friends how whole life and we pretty much had one of them stay every weekend where possible, just to give him company. When I was a single mum it helped to give him someone else to play with.
You son likely just started school and is seeing that other kids have siblings, my son went through a phase at that age of wanting a dad around. He didn't really understand the concepts behind it, just wanted what others appeared to have.
He is a 5 year old child, you really do not need to explain it in great detail. Just say no we cant have another child and leave it at that. How can you let a 5 year old guilt you like that? Seriously your the adult, your in control of your family, not the 5 year old. When the child is old enough to understand everything about the human body, mental illness and infertility, explain it then. But until that day arrives ask your son to stop asking you about it, the answer is no.
Hello there, only child here 👋. I asked my parents for a sibling for years when I was around that age. My parents were in their 40s when they had me. My mother did fall pregnant again after she had me, but sadly miscarried, and they never tried again. All I wanted was a sibling, but I outgrew it once I was a teenager. I saw how my friends all fought with their younger and older siblings and thought how lucky I was. I’m in my 30s now, with 3 kids of my own 😂. My kids won’t have the same luxury I had 😂. It sounds like you have solid and valid reasons for not wanting another baby. Your son will be fine and he will one day appreciate all your undivided love and attention ❤️.