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My 16 year old son, who hasn't seen his bio father in over 5 years, no longer wants to use his father's surname.
We are unable to find his father to do the name change thing, have absolutely no idea on where to begin looking for him etc. And the fact that he is a drug addict I'm not sure I want to.
I want to know if anyone has been in this situation and how they went about changing a child's surname with out the other parent.
Thank you
5 Replies
Just wait the two years and change it through BDM. Before then unfortunately it’s costly and you’ll need a judge to sign off on it. That won’t be done until judge is satisfied communications to other party have been unsuccessful.
This includes putting an ad in the paper, sending letters to last known frequented address. The process alone could take years.
I’d encourage waiting until he turns 18.
You would need to go to court, or wait until you are 18. Many schools etc will allow you to use a preferred name. My nephew goes by his mums last name at school and even at psych appointments etc. Of course they all know his legal name and it’s on the paperwork.
It’s easy go to court tell the judge the situation and the kid will need to tell judge he wants this and it’s usually granted. I went through this at a similar age!
Even after being approved sole custody of children, change of last name was not granted as the father did not submit his approval. No matter how much your son has seen his father, or his addictions, make any difference when it comes to removing his last name without consent.
The option I was given was to add my surname to my sons birth cert meaning on paper he is known as john Williams- smith (fake name) however for personal use, school doctors sporting etc just about any thing really we can have him use my name, Williams.
Anywhere that requires his birth cert as a form of ID, usually ask you his preferred name. This is where we write down his birth cert last name Williams smith, but preferred is Williams.
Personally I'm glad I did it this wayas, whilst at the time my children hadn't seen dad for 6yrs, they now have a relationship with their father and are happy to carry his last name aswell.
Every time I read this here I say the same thing, take your child to a counsellor to find out why they want to do this. They do this out of anger and feeling abandoned which is not going to get fixed by changing a name. Even my own daughter wanted to change her name for worse reasons than your son and I talked her out of it, the problems and hurt is still going to be there no matter what name you have. And if they mend the relationship in 5 years time and get along really well (It does happen!) Then your son is going to be regretful. You only get 3 name changes in a lifetime, don't waste it on being vengeful.