Mistake of moving

Anonymous

Mistake of moving

My partner has turned into a massive c u next Tuesday since I moved in. I feel cheated. It was a huge step for me to move here. My ex was abusive and when I was finally single I wanted to stay that way, my trust for men was completely shattered. I was single for 5 years before meeting my partner and he was the opposite of my ex. Never angry. He treated me with respect and he knew more about me in our first few months of dating than my ex ever did over our 13 years of living together. At the start of our relationship I told him I don't want to live with him. He had kids, I had kids, it just sounded too messy and I thought we would be better if we lived apart. After 3 years together he started asking me to move in with him. His house was an hour away and it meant moving my teenage kids so it was a huge risk. He told me how he would have a job for me with his business if I moved. I kept telling him all the things that could go wrong but he had a solution for everything. So I moved. At first it was great, my kids went really well at school, better than their previous school. But I did not have a job here. We keep our finances separate so I get $800 a month child support and have to provide for my kids on that. He pays the power and the water and I have to pay for food for the whole house plus whatever my kids need like clothes and school stuff. It's not working. My kids need everything. There's no jobs here. My partners family and his ex have run me down all over this small town about me just sponging off my partner because I live here without a job. My kids have applied for jobs here but nobody will look at them. My eldest is 18 so finished school now and went away for a few months work but she came back again, now he's giving really sly remarks about board and she shouldn't be using "his" power or "his" food. He keeps putting my kids down to me about how they don't know how to work. Or that his child left home at 15 (now 18) and I said that's nothing to be proud of, I was out of home at 16 too it's not ideal to be an adult too soon. I also remind him his son was not independent but living with his girlfriends parents who were paying his way. His other son is 15 and does whatever he likes. Does not go to school, stays up all night, leaves whenever he likes. But when my 16 year old joked saying he was going to go out and come home at 1am (which he has never done but stepson does this regularly) my partner said "Well don't expect to be let back in if you do that". I asked him today if he thinks that was a bit funny to say, considering your own child does it all the time and his response was "Don't worry, I would kick an 18 year old out before a 16 year old". He also compares our kids all the time and it's like a competition. He points out what's wrong with my kids when his 18 year old steals off people (stole his older brothers credit card numbers) and uses drugs and sells it. He also thinks our place is the local shop and comes and takes whatever food he likes then back to his place which I wouldn't care about if I could afford to buy more food but I can't. I want out. I want my own place again. But I have no money and I don't want to move my 16 year old from the school, he's going so well. I just could never live where my adult kids are not welcome. Why did I even move here I just hate it so much.

3 Replies

Anonymous

I was going to say I’m exactly like you, but haven’t found a partner yet, want to keep my independence and never live together. I thought this is what happens, you can’t trust anyone, this is why I’m staying single!!.
Then I read further that his son is a drug dealer/criminal and the way he parents is incredibly woeful. Then I realised there were red flags all over this and if you are honest, you would say the same.
See if you can get separated under the same roof with Centrelink, save some cash and get a rental. I would get it as faraway as possible that is practical for your kid to stay at the school. Is there a school bus? Start trying to get a job in a town over, a bit of travel isn’t the end of the world. Where is your family, your support network? Is there anyone you can vent to and get some emotional support? Good luck, I truly hope you can get out soon.

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Anonymous

I’m so sorry you are going through this

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Anonymous

This is terrible, I’m sorry you are going through this. Can you call family or friends to ask for help. Or start saving even if it’s $50 a week?

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