Ok this topic may be a bit morbid and this topic may upset some people but that is not my intention.
My husband recently said to me that he had done a course at work, not overly sure what it was about but he come home and said we need to make a plan for me and our daughter if something were to happen to him.
We don’t have any sort of funeral plan but my husband does have life insurance (I think, will have to check it out) through his super.
Firstly to those that have lost their partners I’m so sorry for your loss.
It has really got me thinking as I’m hearing a lot about young dads/husbands/partners passing away. I want to be prepared in case the worst does happen.
My husband is the main earner and I would struggle to pay the bills if he passed. Is there any way I can be financially prepared?
We don’t have the money for a funeral.
Are funeral plans any good?
Is there anything you wished you knew or did when your partner passed?
I mean I’m 35 and don’t know if I want to be buried or cremated. And I’m not sure husband (40) has thought about it either.
6 Replies
Good things to talk about, including but not limited to, the following:
- life insurance, you need to ensure he has enough to support yourself and your child for a few years, pay off your house etc. You also should have life insurance. Hubby might be the high earner but you still make a contribution, whether you're a SAHM, part-part-time or full-time worker, if you're gone the burden of running the house will fall completely on him. From child-care, to housework to paying bills. If you have super take it out through your fund. If not, there's other options. Maybe seek out financial advice for amounts and best options. Make sure you're his nominated superannuation beneficiary, and he is yours.
- make Wills. Not negotiable.
- funerals, talk about whether you want one, how you want your remains dealt with (buried or cremated) if you want any religious aspects, if there's anything you'd be against. It's meant to be a celebration of your life, it should reflect you. Find out how much a funeral may cost, make a plan for how you'll pay for it. Don't bother with funeral plans. You don't want conditions on that money. Make a plan to have savings or take money out of super if the worst happens (death of a family member is a condition of release).
- organ donation, if you/hubby die in an accident you may be asked if you want to donate your partner's organs, talk about your feelings on that.
- medical interventions, such as if one of you is gravely ill or meets with an accident such that your partner needs to make a decision: do you want to be resuscitated? Do you want to be kept alive on life support?
power of attorney too this is very important.Obviously you would still be alive, but say you got into an accident and you were brain dead, who do you want to make the decisions for you? What about if it was long term and you say had to go to a facility for care? And vice versa.
It’s important to have a plan for all the scenarios, you dying, him dying, one of you becoming disabled, you both dying.
For example when we were young kids my parents both had life insurance. If my dad died (primary income earner) mum needed to be able to pay the bills etc, they decide a buffer of 3 years would be plenty for mum to make changes. If my mum died, my dad would have been a woeful primary Carer so they figured a nanny would need to be hired until we were if an age we didn’t need it. If they both died they knew who us kids would go to (as we got older that changed and we got a vote).
Once we got to a certain age they dropped mums life insurance because we wouldn’t need a nanny. Now that we are all adults and dad has retired the life insurance is pretty low as it will just pay out any debts and mum can live comfortably of the remainder of the super.
Funeral insurance can be a total rip off. It’s often included in life insurance or super anyway. I’d be more concerned about income protection if your husband becomes sick or disabled that can be a huge hit financially.
Go and see a financial planner and they will also direct you to an estate planner, this is exactly what they do.
My husband and I have spoke about this regularly so if it happened we would be prepared and could just grieve if needed;
Firstly we both have wills, they are currently on my computer and need witnessing
-I have a word doc in the folder on my computer that has all our passwords on it
-we went and saw a financial advisor and he made sure our money was in an account that pays out fast if needed. This amount covers our mortgage. I will revisit this now I have finished my degree
- made our super legally binding as to who it goes to
- talked about donating our organs and what our wish is
-we have a plan should something happen to both of us. We have spoken to the people they would go to so if it was to happen that wouldn’t be a shock. All of our belongings including super and life insurance would then go to them to help with the cost of raising the kids. We have stipulated that a certain amount to be put away for both kids for when they are adults.
- lastly we have not spoken about being hurried or cremated. We agree that, that should be a family decision if the time comes as everyone would be grieving and want to have a say in where we lay to rest.
- I am also going to buy a fire proof safe to put birth certificates ect in with the word doc of passwords and the executor of our will will also have a key.
- our financial advisor also set up a critical health insurance of $50,000 so if we to get sick we can still survive
Hope this helps, it’s not nice to think about, but reassuring when you’re prepared.
Good luck. Get yourself a good financial advisor, they can help with a lot of this stuff
I have come to terms with the fact I will lose my partner to suicide. 2 years from now or 20, I don't know when it will be. Mental health issues suck ass.
We have discussed what he wants and I will honour that for him.
He wants to be cremated, some of his ashed cast in resin to use as a gear shifter, his car restored and said shifter installed and I HAVE to use he car as a daily.
I'm also not to tell his family. They are horrible people and he is of the opinion they don't deserve to know.
I did think about a funeral plan, but currently we can't afford any extra outgoing payments.