In the beginning my son slept in his room with the door closed. In the last couple of months he’s become scared of the dark so we keep his door open with the hallway light on.
The problem now is that bub gets incredibly upset if my partner and I close our bedroom door. This is fine if bub doesn’t wake up through the night because we just wait till he falls asleep and close the door. Most of the time he does wake up and gets incredibly upset if the door is closed so we open it and then can’t sleep because the hallway light keeps us awake.
This is the only anxious behaviour he displays so I don’t know if this is anxiety or something else. He’s very secure in everything else, it’s just this one thing.
He is currently being assessed for autism/adhd if that could be related.
We’ll be moving into a new house soon where he won’t be able to see our door so the problem may fix itself but if not does anyone have any tips and tricks?
9 Replies
What about a nightlight in his room instead?
Kind of off topic here slightly, but is the anxiety the sole purpose of leading you to an autism and or ADHD assessment??
I too would recommend a night light in his room. My son is 8 and went through the exact same thing. He wanted the light in his room left on to fall asleep and our bedroom door left open so he could hear our tv. He wakes up nightly. It may seem forever, but he eventually stopped. I remember saying to him once in the middle of the night, "come on mate your 8 yrs old now you need to start sleeping right through" and his half asleep response back to me was.... "but I know you will come."
No, the autism/adhd came long before this issue. He also has speech and behaviour issues that his daycare educators were concerned about so we’ve been going to a paediatrician who after sitting down with bub thinks he’s probably adhd and/or possibly on the spectrum. We have tried a night light in the past but I don’t think they’re bright enough for him. I’ve contemplated getting him a lamp.
I have also thought maybe it’s a comfort thing, like he wants to know that I can hear him so I was thinking of maybe getting walkie talkies?
Both of these conditions can result in really high anxiety. Try a night light (though artificial light affects melatonin and impairs sleep), buy yourself some eye covers (you know... To block out light... Can't think of the name but ebay has them crazy cheap) and keep the door open if this increases his security or try a walkie talkie so in each room so you're 'close'. Also, have you tried a weighted blanket? My son is adhd and high functioning ASD (so that was only more recently clear as he masked things)... He's 8 and has only recently been able to communicate that he feels like he is floating when trying to sleep and that spikes his anxiety... So we got a weighted blanket to try and it's been brilliant. I ordered a cheap smaller one off ebay to try and since it works, will now buy a full sized one in better quality (that I can machine wash).
I think until you move, I'd just deal.
Get the most dim light globe available for the hall and eye masks for yourselves (kmart, like $3 in the beauty section).
My son went through a something similar at this age, this will probably outrage the perfect mums but i put a small old tv in his room out of sheer desperation. T.v. shopping chanel, no sound - worked like a charm. I think it was the being able to see people (even if they were tv people) that helped him relax.
definitely a night light in his room
If he’s four, he’s going to bed earlier than you. Shut your door after he’s asleep
If he’s not asleep -the light is probably keeping him up- that could be part of his behavior problem.
I highly recommend the weighted blanket - if he is on the spectrum, the weight will be soothing
“This is fine if bub doesn’t wake up through the night because we just wait till he falls asleep and close the door. Most of the time he does wake up and gets incredibly upset if the door is closed so we open it and then can’t sleep because the hallway light keeps us awake.”
I have a blue light bulb in my hallway light. It’s bright enough for my boys, but not so bright that it keeps me awake. I’ve done that for many years. I read about it in a parenting or pregnancy magazine while pregnant with my eldest who is now 14.