My son is 15 years old and his bio dad has suddenly reappeared in a message to me asking can he see his son . He wasn't ready to be a father 15 years ago because his dad and girlfriend 'wont like it'. And he never told them he had a son . So he wiped my son off . We were never in a relationship, it was a one night stand.
Fast forward 15 years , he has a wife and he said she has encouraged him to get in touch on behalf of Master 15. Bio man has also since told his dad he has a 15 year old and his dad is all good with it .
I feel like hes only reaching out because his dad has accepted it and his wife tells him to? Before this , he was never interested. He has also never paid a single white cent of child support. Ever .
I've been married for 14 years and my husband has been my sons dad since he was 6 months old . My son calls him dad and has known no other . He is aware he has a bio dad , we had told him when he was 9 .
I have told him bio dad is wanting to see him . He is confused but curious. He also said he doesn't want to upset dad by agreeing to seeing his bio dad and is basing his decision on the upset my husband will endure . Hes a good kid and is concerned it will hurt my husband ( the man he calls dad ) . And it will , but hes come to that conclusion on his own . My husband is the one who's provided since my child was 6 months old when the other man never once did a thing .
My dilemma is , what I do from here ? I feel bio dad is only asking because he has permission from his wife and dad to do it . But on the other side of the coin , it's going to kill my husband once I bring it up. And Master 15 year old asked me to make the decision for him . He's hesitant but curious. He said If it hurts dad too much he will wait till hes 18 . He feels like seeing bio dad is a betrayal to his now dad . I feel like the decision is too big for him , but yet I feel like at 15 he is old enough . He loves his dad ( my husband) so much and they are so close , as tight as a knot , and bless his soul, but he's annoyed bio dad has reappeared but curious , yet hurt for his main dad .
Is this too much for a 15 year old? Should we wait till hes 18?
( my son and I haven't said anything yet to my husband, we will , but we both know what his reaction will be .)