Hi IM’s,
I’m a mother to 2 adult children, 1 high school and 1 primary school.
Last year I became friendly with a mother in my youngest sons class. From the third play date I noticed some behavioural issues with both my sons friend (7) and his younger sibling (5). This ranged from disrespectful speaking to their parents to full blown physical and verbal abuse towards both parents and each other. Punching their parents in the face, calling them c***s and beating each other to the point of such damage being done, I’m fearful of their capabilities. The eldest one has dragged the youngest one into our pool area on more than one occasion and tried to throw him into the pool without a floatie on (he can’t swim). This resulted in me banning them from coming over to swim again. He’s also choked the youngest one to almost unconsciousness on a few occasions.
The biggest concern for me, besides this disgusting behaviour, was that fact both parents tried to ignore the behaviour and would reward the children (after an outburst) with anything to calm them both down.
Over the course of 12 months I’ve witnessed more abuse then I could count on my hands and feet. I’ve tried speaking to her about their behaviour and when I gently brought the issue up, she’d respond with the older child has anxiety and the younger one is fine!
After many months of being there for her, when other parents have walked away and not engaged in conversation or play dates, I’m done! The final straw was my son being punched in the face by his ‘friend’ for not agreeing with what the friend was saying and the youngest one hitting him with a large rock, whilst at another childs party.
I guess my question now, would as a mother, who is witnessing this horrific behaviour between siblings and being unable to rule out what is happening, if anything, to these children that could be contributing to their behaviour.
Would you walk away and forget about it all or perhaps speak to the school about what I’ve witnessed and express my concerns? There’s been many previous complaints from other mothers about the physical abuse from the older child towards their children. Or just mind my own business?
5 Replies
Always report if you have concerns. At the end of the day, nothing may be happening, as in a lack of parenting, thats still neglect. The school will know these kids and have staff who work with them, so even if they can't resolve the living situation, having insights into what goes on for them at home is always helpful to them.
The eldest one sounds like he has something going on and the younger one copies or reacts the same way to survive. By allowing him to continue to abuse the younger child they are failing to protect him and keep him safe. Report it to children's services, unsure if you can do it anonymously or not.
My sons step brothers are like this and have been suspended from school for harming each other. They have a little sister (3) who apparently is just as bad. The step mother is always demanding my son live with her. Their behaviour concerns me but dcp don't care. Unless the kids are at risk from the parents they don't care. I feel for the kids since it's likely learned I feel like they are the ones that suffer in all of this due to shitty parenting
As a child protection caseworker with Docs I wish the public would advocate for children in danger and make reports when they see them! Sometimes people thinks someone else would have reported this by now but often the case is that it isn’t. Please make this report for the child’s safety and welfare. If your in NSW please call the Child Protectiin Helpline on 132 111. Every child deserves to feel safe and be safe.
Report it to the school and the police as this is WRONG I have disabled kids and I would NOT put up with this - there may be violence at home and the kids are simply copying them as this is all they know