I've been a single Mum 8 years and my sons father barely sees him. I've not met anyone worth introducing him to all these years and tried to keep it consistent here with no new partners coming and going like each time he sees Dad.
I've finally been seeing a great guy the past 6 months and we've wanted to try and let my partner and son get to know each other so we feel ok with him staying here. We've attempted this twice (once at home and once at putt putt) and both times my child has acted out being nervous, showing off, over the top. I know it's his way of letting out his anxiety of not having seen Mum have a partner before. He says he likes him and wants me happy, but I don't know how to build a bond between them or at least have it not awkward for all three of us? Needing ideas how to help make my son comfy in getting to know a new person. His Dad (who sees him 2 days a month on average) has told him not to like the new partner, he's gay and will never be his Dad. So I know it's from the confusion of what his Dad has said. He knows I wouldn't let just any old guy around him or in our house.
Please help :( This ones worth making an effort to keep around. I thought I was doing the right thing not having him meet any partners the past 8 years. Partner is a teacher of children the same age as my son so he's amazing around him.
Single parent of 8 years, finally having a partner
Single parent of 8 years, finally having a partner
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Kids
4 Replies
Just give it time. More attempts etc. it takes time.
How would your son feel (and you) if they did an activity without you present? Something boyish that they could do together.. driving range, archery, basketball, timezone.. something along those lines for just an hour or two so that he doesn't see the two of you together and they can have some one on one time to chat :)
Honestly it takes time. Expect things to get worse at times, weirder and sometimes really hard. Kids deal with things in tricky ways and as long as they are still happy with it all you just have to hold on through the awkward times.
I think you have an advantage here in that your partner is a teacher. I'm sure he's creative enough to come up with some awesome ways to deal with this situation. Let their friendship happen organically. Don't try to force it, but also obviously keep contact consistent between them.
Play some board games, outdoor games, do bushwalks together, stuff that doesn't force them to talk and be uncomfortable but they can interact and get to know each other through fun activities.