A boy (5) at my son’s daycare has been caught several times (that I know of) hiding under blankets with kids with no clothes on or shorts off. The other children (there has been a few different kids caught with him) have been either dressed, half undressed or naked. Normally they are caught very fast as the staff are amazing and watchful but during nap time can sometimes overlook it for a moment. Once he was caught in the toilet with a child prodding at the other child’s bottom with his finger. My concerns are there obviously.
My question is... is this a red flag for sexual abuse or could it be childish curiosity?
Part of me believes it’s likely curiosity and the other part of me doesn’t and thinks if there is a chance there is something else going on that I should report it.
I’d like to know other people’s thoughts and opinions. Do I report it? Should the daycare? I’m not 100% sure on their mandatory reporting guidelines....
6 Replies
The day care have very strict guide lines on what needs to be reported. They may have already reported the issues, but they wouldn’t tell any of the other parents.
Is this a family day care. I can't imagine this happening in any of the centres my kids have been in.
My friend picked her son up from daycare one day to be told 8 children went behind the shed to get the balls that get stuck and decided to see where poop come from. They all dropped their dacjs and had a finger up the bum of the child in front of them. 8 kids! Boys and girls! They all said it was everyone's idea! I think this can be a sign of abuse, but it can be just the age, it could also be that he's low iq, ASD, adhd... Anything that would make him more impulsive or less attuned to social norms. Really, this could be virtually anything. The teachers have mandatory reporting and are the ones actually witnessing it. I'd be letting them decide how to respond and just talking to my own child about personal boundaries
If this is regular behaviour, rest assured the staff would be all over it.
I get the frustration on your part though, it can seem like nothing's being done but behind the scenes there's procedures and policies that need to be adhered to, obviously they can't relay their progress with other parents due to confidentiality (and rightfully so) but nonetheless, they should be and I'm sure they are keeping a very close eye on the situation.
I'm sure the day care have reported it but I am studying teachibg and we are taught to report if something feels not right.... you're better off reporting 100 things that are proven safe than not reporting something that could have protected a child.
Anyone can make a report. Look up in your state how to report. There is no harm in reporting. They'll look into it and either see that it is a curious child.... or you could be saving a child from a dangerous situation.
Having worked in both family day care and centres I can whole heartedly say this type of thing has the opportunity to happen far more often in the centre environment than a FDC environment. Might I also add that mandatory reporting would also mean that any instances that send off red flags will already be noted and reported to the relevant authorities. This will all happen without knowledge to any other parents, strict confidentiality must be maintained at all times. The family will also have been contacted and an incident report (which they the parents must sign) would have been filed for each individual report/incident.