Not really a question but more of a vent.
I am in morning! Not for my ex but my chance at love/life partner
I have just split with my ex (he cheated on me after 4 1/2 years)
I currently have my 3 beautiful children, 100% of the time, and I work 40-50 hours a week. There is no time for me to date someone new as I’m either at work or home with my kids. I’m not prepared to bring different guys around my kids (my ex and I dated for 6 months before I introduced the kids to him)
I met my ex when my situation was different and my kids went to their dads on the weekend
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’m scared to be alone (it was just me and the kids for 2 years after I split with their dad)
It’s just that I don’t want to!!
I want the opportunity to share our life with!! I want what other people have 😢
I just can’t stop crying
How do people deal with the reality of being single for life?
5 Replies
When youre happy and enjoy the single life, that’s when it’s time to meet someone.
If you meet someone now, you are vulnerable and will most likely accept less than you deserve and ignore the red flags.
Work on yourself, stop worrying about what others have and see all the things you do have.
Good luck, you.l get through it, stronger and better than before xxxx
Couldn’t agree with this more. I left the father of my children. I was heart broken at the fact that I would be alone. It wasn’t until I settled, had a chance to grow into my own person, started to really enjoy myself with a great group of friends and learnt to just be me and in the moment that I met the love of my life. I wasn’t looking, wasn’t even interested in entering a relationship as I was enjoying my life that I fell head over heels for a close friend
That's true, but it doesn't have to be for ever. It's a phase while you're changing your routine and while your kids are young but as you settle in and fins your new community, you'll have friends to go out with, they'll help you figure out your kids, maybe other friends will watch them as we all know how it is. Maybe they'll have older kids. Maybe you'll put all the kids together and party while the kids play. Maybe their hubby will have your kids while you ladies go out together.
If not, find a good decent babysitter and treat yourself once every month or two to a night out.
In the same way you'll figure out dating. It's depressing when you know you wouldn't be available any time but I'm now at a place where I know I can make some time work and I also let men know I spend most of my time with my kids right from the start now whereas I used to think I had to pretend to be carefree and have a social life. The right ones totally get it.
Is there a reason the father of the children cant have them more? Push for 50/50? Not so you can date but so you get some time to yourself so you can be the best mum and version of yourself as well as a good strong bond between your kids and their dad?
I'm flat strap with uni, work and kids. I get my me time in when the kids are asleep (deliberately dont study during this time so I don't burn out), read a book, paint nails, watch TV. I don't date either but I am love with being alone right now. It's taken a year to get here where im comfortable with just me but you will get there.
The father of my kids have them week on week off which helps.
I felt like could have written some of this myself. I just split with my boyfriend of 2 years. I had planned the future with him and now I feel shattered that none of that is going to happen and it's just going to be me and my girl.
Again like you I'm not worried about being alone it's more the worry of will I ever find someone for the long term.
We just have to keep being ourselves, do what's best for us and the kids and hope that one day someone will come into ourselves. If it's meant to be it will be.
You are not alone in this situation :)