Hi sisterhood I am writing in as I am a little concerned about my 3.5 year old daughter I have two older daughters but at her age they knew colours, could count, name shapes, and write their names, my 3.5 year old knows her colours and can count to 10 and can spell her name but she can't seem to figure out shapes or write her name properly, I keep practicing with her but it doesn't seem to make much difference she just throws a tantrum when she gets them wrong, what do I do, do I take her to see someone or do I stop trying ATM or keep trying, I'm confused she goes to kindy next year so that's another thing I'm concerned about will she be ready for kindy! Concerned Mum!
14 Replies
She will be fine, kindy is for learning these things. She already knows a lot for her age, maybe ease up a little. She probably just isn’t ready yet and once she gets to kindy she will pick it up
That's what they learn at 4 year old Kindy so save your concern for next year. She is already ahead no need to rush her if she isn't interested.
She is 3.5. Many kids can’t write there name properly until they start school. If she knows her colours and not shapes I wouldn’t worry. Honestly she sounds like most 3.5 year olds where learning is all play based.
Relax try not to compare to your older two.
My niece hounded us for this type of activity at this age but that’s not the norm for most kids.
Try not to stress! They learn so much at kinder / prep and every child develops in their own time. I wouldn’t push things as it all should be positive.
She's very very young. What you've said she can do is just fine. The rest will come when she's ready. You can't push development.
Please stop comparing her to her siblings. 3.5 is very young to know these things
That's what they hope for jyst before starting school. So 4.5 to 5.5 years. By then, she'll be interested in learning and the kids that don't know it catch up with everyone else really quickly so forcing it now is fairly unnecessary
She’s throwing tantrums when she gets it wrong, she’s not ready and you are setting her up to hate learning.
Your teaching is doing more harm than good.
Please, leave her be for now and enjoy being a toddler.
Let her learn through play, teach her through play, no formal lessons.
You’re already putting pressure one a three ear old, she will have 12 plus years of formal education, let her enjoy this time.
And please don’t compare her to others, she’s obviously fine, based on what she already knows, no developmental delays, so just enjoy her.
Imagine if you had a boy, you would absolutely freak out, most take a while before they pick these things up, too busy driving their trucks into the dirt lol
That is so not true about boys, way to make boys out to be dumb! No matter what gender kids are they ALL learn at different paces, stop being judgemental.
From a mum with highly intelligent BOYS
Totally agree! This stereotype about boys is very annoying. I have had people tell me that boys don't mature until they are 25, that they perform worse than girls in school, they will be computer game /YouTube junkies until they are 30.
What a generalisation! We have 2 boys, who are now 23 and 21. Both graduated with OP1s (we are in Qld), and with very high ATARS (99.75). One decided to do medicine and the other is doing veterinary science. So we have another doctor in the house and a vet. And they both got full Deans Academic scholarships to UQ, and their GPAs are between 6 and 7, depending on the semester.
They are lovely men with a great sense of family and friends, and we love their girlfriends to bits. So no, not every 4 year old boy is driving his trucks in the dirt ALL the time. Ours did all of that, played rugby, swam competitively, played piano until diploma level, hung out with friends and broke the usual bones. Yes they had 18 and 21st parties here at home that involved a fair amount of alcohol, a visit from the police about noise, and gave us a few more grey hairs!
But they both talked and read very early and were writing sentences before kindy. We did spend lots of time just talking to them. Not in baby language, but in normal conversation, and they were like little sponges. Soaked up all the information. It truly is the best thing you can do with kids.
Like watching and talking about David Attenborough documentaries with them, looking at stars through a telescope with them, talking about current world events etc, reading novels with them.
We did travel with them a lot as children. We were in Rome with them when they were around 9ish, and had just come out of the Vatican, which is dripping with gold. There were homeless people who were amputees sleeping in the street right outside the exit, and our boys wanted to know why the Italian government couldn't sell the gold in the Vatican to help the homeless people? Curly questions lead to really interesting discussions. (Not that you have to travel out of Australia to see that... But you get the idea!). They were normal kids, but we never labelled them as "oh, that's boys...don't expect any different". Don't sell kids short. Every kid can and will be amazing in their own right and in their own time. Don't push or worry. Just spend lots of time with them, talk to them (not baby talk... Yuk). Give those little brains food and they will absolutely thrive and grow.
I wrote this and my little boy is extremely intelligent, sensitive and mature beyond his years.
However, in the education system, in GENERAL, you see a lot of boys develop gross motor skills as this age whilst girls, more fine motor skills. A vast majority of the boys catch up maturity wise by about grade two. It’s just the way it is in general, I’m certainly not bashing boys lol I know we are all about equal opportunity and all that, but biologically boys are different and in general, this is the pattern you see in the education system. My son is also an exception, doesn’t mean I don’t see the pattern day in, day out lol
Oh Lordy she is so young!!!! My older two girls could write their name and new all shapes and colours before school started. You know what? It didn’t matter in the slightest. There was a kid in their class who couldn’t write his name and has just won a national biology competition and is on his way to the US!
My youngest couldn’t write his name either and is terrible (and hates) sight words however the teacher is absolutely amazed at his abilities in Math!
What she knows on the first day of prep or kinder has no bearing on how well she will do during her 13+ years of schooling. Let her be a child. Let her play. Don’t get caught up in it.
Poor thing is only 3.5! Stop pressuring her and let her be a kid. That’s what kindy is for, to help them learn. By the sounds of things she is already advanced for her age, she doesn’t need to see someone unless she’s non-verbal or having difficulties, she sounds quite smart. The first step is stop comparing as well! Just like adults, kids learn at their own pace, let her be.
I don’t understand all the pressure at 3.5? Surely she has time to learn these things in kindy to prepare her for school. I feel like some parents with high standards like these feel their child’s development reflects them but it doesn’t. She’s her own little person and if she’s already feeling frustrated at herself for not doing it right I think it’s time to lower the standards.