For as long as I can remember I have hated any kind of confrontation and I have actively avoided it!
This often leaves me in awkward, uncomfortable, inconvenient, detrimental or down right strange situations and tolerating behaviour I really shouldn't!
The most recent scenario:
It had been my daughter's birthday and a relative wanted to catch up at MacDonalds to give her a gift. We arrive, relative gives said gift which was a gift bag including some clothes and a gorgeous (and likely very expensive) rag doll. Relative says her goodbyes and my daughter and myself decided to stick around for a play in the playground. So out we went!
Knowing there was loads of kids around I made my daughter put her new doll back in the bag and I shoved the bag under the table I was sitting at (we caught the train this day other wise I'd have put it in the car).
My daughter goes off to play.
Next minute a mum and her 1 year old come into the playground, 1 year old grabs dolly out of the bag. I didn't say anything because naturally I assumed mum would say "that's not yours, give it back to the lady" but no. She instead exclaims "Oh good girl, you found a dolly".
Excuse me, found?!?!
I smile politely but on the inside I'm kinda pissed, I expect mum to pry the doll out of her kids hand at this point, pass it back, give an endearing apology and be on her way but again, no.
She then let's 1 year old drag poor dolly through the playground. I actually get up at this point ready to say "Um, my daughter just got that today. I'll have it back thanks"*yoink*.
What I got out was a feeble "could I um... Excuse me but...*incoherent mumbling about new toy, dirt etc* - awkwardly trying to faff about and get the kid to hand it over, meanwhile mum's not paying me the slightest attention but is proudly shouting for all to hear "Good girl. Such good sharing".
I guess she missed the part where asking permission first is kind of fricken important...
I'm jack of it now and call my kiddo to leave, mum finally acknowledges me and says "Oh, did you want this back then?"
Me internally: "NO MATE, JUST FUCKING KEEP IT... OF COURSE I WANT IT BACK YOU RUDE KNOB".
Me on the outside: That'd be good, thanks *polite fake smile*
I get dolly back and she now has a nice smear of snot on her face and chip grease on her dress. Great... (don't worry, she recovered lol).
I'm actually laughing at myself as I write this because it's so fucking stupid and these ridiculous little mishaps seem to be the story of my life 😂
I guess my question is, how can I gain the confidence to assert myself before situations decend into this utter lunacy?
I'm fairly shy as it is and in case you hadn't already perceived as much, I'm a bit socially awkward at times but I'm also growing less patient as I get older and I can have a firey temper. So I worry one day I'm going to go too far in the other direction and give someone a massive serve after silently putting up with their shit for too long lol.
I'm not really looking to be told how I should've handled the above situation. In hindsight I can see the exact point it went to Hell and I know exactly what I should have said. I just seem to have trouble putting that into practice in the heat of the moment.
Please help this awkward mama (Christ, how many times did I say awkward here? Sorry 'bout that🤦♀️😂).