How do you mums do it I am sitting here crying my eyes out every night is the same crying screaming from miss 5 will not sleep no matter what I am at my whits end I want to quit right now I am resenting the baby we have on the way I can't do this I just physically and mentally cannot do this anymore I have tried everything Phenergan dosent work melatonin dosent work she works herself up until she throws up how the hell do I fix this
5yo dosent sleep
5yo dosent sleep
Posted in:
Mental Health, Parenthood Guilt, Health & Wellbeing, Behaviour, Pregnancy, Kids
17 Replies
Phernergan is not to be used or abused for sleeping purposes. This is my BIGGEST pet hate, why would you un-necessarily put drugs in your child?
Make an appointment with your gp or a sleep consultant.
Get a referral to a Paediatrician. My daughter is on Catapres for sleeping becasue she always has refused to sleep from the age of 3 she’s been on it. Without it she sleeps for 5-6 hours and was really really struggling and so was I. I thought it was normal becasue her big brother was the same. He’s on Melatonin. Now they both sleep through the night. I had to seek help from their paediatrician but she was a life saver.
I also need to ask.
Does she have day sleeps?
What’s her bedtime routine?
Is she hungry or thirsty?
What time are you trying to put her to bed?
Do you have calming music that you play?
I agree with the other person. Phanerghan is not a medication you give your kid to make them sleep. It’s just not right. If Melatonin doesn’t work there are other options. Lavender on her pillow, Lavender diffuser in her room.
Is her room scary, afraid of the dark, is she using up enough energy during the day, do you give her juice or fizzy drinks, lollies, sugary foods etc all things that can affect sleep.
She has no day sleep routine is tea shower book reading with dad then bed at 8 as I get home from work then not hungry not thirsty she had her water next to her have tried music tried lavender and oils she is at school 3 days a week does swimming and daycare barely any sugary foods diet is great the only way she will settle is if we lay with her
I know your pregnant with number 2 so it’s rough you get home at 8pm and she needs to be in bed. Does she need time with you? Or does she miss you so needs some time just with you. Catapres knocks my daughter out. It really was a life saver (my life saver) I was napping when my daughter was at day care just to catch up on sleep. So I totally get it.
She won’t settle unless one of you lay with her? Ok not ideal but it’s a good start. Start with a chair next to her bed. Tell her you’ll hold her hand and listen to her music with her while she goes to sleep but if she doesn’t go to sleep then you’ll leave the room. Slowly move your chair after a few days further away. Reassure her you’re there for her and have her music on. Tell her she has to lay down and go to sleep otherwise you’ll leave the room and she’ll have to be there on her own. Slowly move the chair as the days go closer and closer to the door.
Ultimately though I think there is something else going on that you may need to see a Paediatrician about. Yes it costs, yes it’ll take up a couple of hours of your time and yes this is going to take time to sort out. You haven’t mentioned if this is something new or if this has always been the case with her sleep. I really feel for you because I have been you. Except my daughter was on Catapres and would have night terrors and the need to pee in the middle of the night (she’d wake up screaming) 2-3 times a night and would only settle in my bed and then I’d move her back to hers. We moved house over a year and a half ago now. The first night here she started sleeping through the night. We still have the occasional wake up crying (she’s 6 now) but ultimately she sleeps through the night. I recommend you dig deeper into this becasue something is setting her off about the room she’s in and she’s rather upset to be in her room, if you don’t find out why it’s only going to get worse. You’ve got this even if you don’t think you do!! Xx
Then lay with her? She doesn't have a sleep problem, she just wants to be near you. It's pretty normal at this age! You've obviously tried the "tough love" approach and it's not working!
Start by laying with her until she's asleep. Once you get her settling nicely with you in the room, you can start by getting her settled and quiet, then tell her to just have to check something in another room quickly, tell her you'll be right back. Come back within a couple of minutes the first few times, then stretch it out a bit. Hopefully she will be able to settle herself soon enough.
So instead of going to the go and trying to work out what your doing wrong and why your child won’t sleep you try and drug her?
We had to take a break from good sleep hygiene for awhile for my own sanity.
It had just become a huge battle ground, where my son fought every little calming technique implemented.
In the end I let it go for a night and stopped putting him to bed. We watched a movie (fairly calm, quiet, non kid movie), taking the fight away he was asleep by 10pm. Not ideal, but an improvement and I didn’t feel like I was going to snap.
After a few weeks rest from sleep hygiene I felt calmer and was able to get back to working on sleep.
We were in the meantime consulting with a GP, peadiatrician and getting ready to involve a sleep physician.
As it turns out my son has a very rare cyclical sleep disorder that has required huge changes to our lifestyle to accomodate, but we are happier, healthier and we no longer are in a battle ground over sleep.
So many judgie people!!!
How do you know the GP didn’t recommend phenergan??? They do sometimes tell parents to temporarily use phenergan!
If her doctor is going to prescribe her daughter an antihistamine to knock her out I think their lies one of the biggest problem! No good doctor would think this is an appropriate solution
No wonder I never post on here I posted for advice and because I was feeling miserable and am at my whits end I am already feeling like a failure as a mother but you have now cemented that for me some people are just plain nasty and yes the Phenergan and melatonin were prescribed from our doctor
Everyone is a perfect parent, until they look into their own house and see their own 3 ring circus. Very easy to be nasty bitches and judging a mum from just a few sentences.
Anyhow, get a referral to a Paed, but can you just break the routine? Tonight, no bath, just PJs and couch for chilling and cuddles. Has your daughter said if there is anything in her room that's causing an issue? Or if there is a problem elsewhere?
My daughter is 3 and always wakes up during the night! Always has! I went to the doctor and explained the situation but wasn’t prescribed anything. I ordered some melatonin off I herb. I give it to her, makes her fall asleep faster some nights but she still wakes 1-6 times a night. I’m sure now at this age it’s her dreams. Drives me nuts.
I feel you, having a crappy sleeper is just so hard. Have you tried co-sleeping? I know it isn't ideal long term, however just for everyone's sanity it may be worthwhile x
I agree
Darl, time for a referral to a pead I reckon.
2 of my children didn't sleep well (and even then it wasn't perfect) until they were nearly 4, so I completely understand your desperation.
Ignore the judgement, you need help and support, not ignorant jabs at your parenting, so don't take them to heart.
In the mean time, make sure you and your partner are tag teaming as much as possible, just so you're both getting at least some sleep.
Sounds like you could use some help for your mental health too, i know that under extreme sleep deprivation your mental health is the first thing to suffer.
Hang in there hun, this won't be forever Xx
It honestly sounds like she just wants time with you , you come home at 8 and she is ready for bed , this is mother nature at her finest , child wanting mother , spear her some time genuinely , sit with her , talk to her , connect with her .