I’m not sure how to word this so bare with me...
I’ve been with my partner for over 12 years & we have 2 beautiful kids but I’m miserable... I always put my babies first but he doesn’t.. his quite selfish and he always puts himself and his sport & his mates first.. I don’t do anything for myself and I feel trapped...
my issue is I’m scared to leave and be alone again. We have split before and perhaps I shouldn’t have gone back but I was lonely, how to I feel okay and make a good decision? The kids are picking up on it all and are struggling themselves with issues and I don’t want them to feel not loved..
I have tried to talk to him but he just doesn’t get it or doesn’t care.. his response to the fact our kids need their parents was “ so we are meant to just stop living our lives”. His out most weekends for sport & his even starting to put his sport before the kids sport..
I just feel so lost, I’m constantly anxious and feel like I’m having to be a mum & dad plus work full time & still play happy families... I’ve got no one to talk to which is why I ask for help here..
2 Replies
Have you ever spoken to a psychologist? I know it’s hard to make the time, but I think it’s time to prioritise you for the kids sake.
Yes, you need to leave, but you also need strategies so that you are happy and content in your own company with or without a partner. It’s an important life skill because the vast majority of people are going to be single at some point wether that’s due to divorce or death of a partner.
I’m single now, and I don’t feel lonely at all. Not because I have 100s of friends (I have a couple), but because I’m confident, comfortable, and can enjoy my own company. I haven’t always been this way, but I’m so glad I’m here.
It sounds like you are doing it all on your own now, but with the added stress of trying to get a disinterested dad to pull his weight. When you let go of that battle, grieve the fact he wasn’t who you or the kids needed and come out the other side, you’ll probably find yourself a lot happier, more relaxed etc.
Wow this is my life. A selfish husband who puts himself, his friends and his sport first.
I’m sorry I have no advice just know you are not alone. I never can go to appointments or get a break I look after the kids 24/7 alone and I’m so sick of it.
Good luck be strong in your decision x