14 year old smoking weed

Anonymous

14 year old smoking weed

So this isn’t about my child, he’s my nephew.

A bit of a back story -

My eldest sister is a drug addict and has about 9 children that I know of to date (haven’t spoken to her in 5 years), none of these children are in her care and all are to different fathers except for 5 that are to one father (he is currently in prison).
I’m still in contact with the 5 that are in the care of their fathers mother.
The grandmother has done absolutely an amazing job with these five children and I couldn’t possibly express how thankful I am for everything she has done for them. They’ve been in her care for about 5 years, the eldest child is 14 and the youngest 7.
The younger 3 are doing absolutely amazing, they’re excelling in school, excelling in their extra curricular activities and also are doing very well mentally.
However the eldest two I feel it was a little too late in getting them out of that environment and as a result are now suffering greatly by everything they witnessed and went through as a child.
They’ve all had extensive counseling for many years and this has helped to some degree.
The eldest carries a lot of anger, which is completely understable, however this has resulted in him getting multiple suspensions and a rocky relationship with his grandmother and siblings.
In recent months he’s turned to smoking weed to deal with his anger, his grandmother has found out and I’m not totally sure what the repercussions were but to my understanding she had tried everything she could do get him back onto the right path.
Now, this is the part that makes my blood boil and I need some advice.
I’ve cut all contact with my youngest sister (20) as she’s what I believe, a sociopath. I haven’t spoken to her for about a year and a half.
Friday night she texts me saying she’s suicidal and that I’m written down to receive her super if something happened to her and to use those funds for the funeral so my Mum doesn’t have to deal with it.
So of course I reply and ask her where she is and I’ll come pick her up and have a chat. We talk for about 3 hours and agree that on the Sunday I’ll take her to get a mental health plan.
Fast forward to the Sunday -
I receive a message from my eldest nephew asking if I could come pick him up because he’s just had a fight with his brother and grandmother and has walked out.
At that point in time I was actually stuck at work because my car battery had died because on the Friday night I had left my keys in the ignition with the car off whilst I was speaking with my sister 🤦🏽‍♀️
Anyway I eventually get to him and take him back to my place where he stayed the night. In that time I was in contact with his grandmother and updating her about what was happening.
So here’s the kicker.
The grandmother had unlocked his phone and was able to read his messages, particularly the messages between him and my younger sister.
She has been buying him alcohol and weed and letting him smoke it at her house with her and her boyfriend.
When I confronted my nephew about it he said that she had said that they were just making memories.
I was absolutely speechless. So obviously that day I didn’t take her to the doctors nor have I even spoken to her since then. I feel as though if I see her I would well and truly cave her face in.
This poor boy has one Aunty saying yeah let’s smoke weed and get drunk and another trying to help him get on the right path and do well in school.
How confusing would that be for him, I’m just at total loss about what to do.
I said to him to cut all contact with her boyfriend as he was providing the weed and that I can’t make him stop speaking to my sister but I just told him that she doesn’t have his best interest at heart.
I just really don’t know what to do, the grandmother has agreed with cutting the boyfriend out and limiting contact with my sister but I just can’t believe what she has done.
This boy has been through so much already, I just want the best for him and it’s absolutely breaking my heart.
How do I help him stop smoking? How do I help him get back onto the right path? What do I do about my sister?

Posted in:  Teenagers, Drugs & Alcohol

2 Replies

Anonymous

I feel as though that the more this kid is pushed or told he can't do stuff then the higher the chance he is going to take off, probably to his super cool Auntys place who lets him do what he likes. I think your best bet is having a chat to your sister and deal with this situation by trying to get her to see your point of view. Tell her you want a different life for your nephew, doesn't she want that too? Tell her grandma knows about her supplying drugs and alcohol and there's a good chance police will now get involved (even if not true, just to scare her out of doing it). Be nice to her, don't come in as though you are telling her what to do but get her to change the way she views this situation. You need to keep her as a friend in case your nephew ever ends up living with her and you can continue to keep an eye on him. Good on you for looking out for him.

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Anonymous

Can you have an honest conversation with him, about addiction and how their can be a genetic predisposition!
Remind him that he is loved and you understand his struggle and support him no matter what! But tell him you want him to want more for himself!
As for your sister 🤦🏼‍♀️ I don’t even know. Maybe she is young and doesn’t really see the harm... 😬

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