Hi, this is extremely hard for me to know as to what to do and am after positive advice please as emotionally and mentally this is a difficult situation.
I have been in a relationship with a 30 year old half indigenous man for 2 years now, I am 42. For about the last 18 months he has been verbally abusive. He also goes through my phone and questions every message I get too. He calls me dumb, asks me if I'm stupid and also tells me I'm a dumb white c*#t too.
Last November he went to a family Birthday function and was extremely drunk. I went and picked him up and a couple of his relations and dropped them home. I thought he was going to stay there but he wanted McDonald's and go to the pub still. From dropping off his relatives at 12:30am till approx 5:30am I put up with alot of physical violence from hitting across the face and head, pulling of my hair and the being hit with a phone charger chord approx. 50 times.
I filed a DV order, we went to Court and he recieved 5 years Good Behaviour. We are still seeing each other and he was good but now he has said I need to give his 2 young children $20 here or there. He gets paid every fortnight but he gambles the whole lot then relies on me financially. He told me I need to change, stop whinging and accommodate more for his kids . I love him but dont know whether to let him go or keep trying to work it out.
Thankyou all for any help and advice you can offer xx
16 Replies
Hi IM, yes you do need to change. He’s right. You need to open your eyes and get the fuck out. What he is doing is tame for now, it’s going to get so much worse :( protect yourself and get out!!!!
So he is verbally, physically, mentally and financially abusive? I think you know the Answer to this but for some reason don't want to admit it. I suggest counselling for yourself as you need help to overcome the abuse and regain your self worth. I'm sorry but you need to get out of this relationship now and you know it.
Is there any relevance here to his race? Take that out of the picture and you are still being abused by someone who is supposed to LOVE you. Out! Out Now!
Run for the hills love
He is controlling EVERYTHING. And he will never stop
Pretty sure his race is relevant because it’s known that indigenous people struggle when they drink alcohol. So he is more likely to become affected than say you or I
Just because statistically he's more likely to become belligerent or aggressive under the influence changes nothing.
In the context this statement was used, it was irrelevant.
She has described an abusive man, his heritage isn't even a factor in the choice she needs to make here.
Let him go sweet heart
LEAVE
Run! Run now! He’s a loser and he doesn’t love you. You don’t physically hurt and use the people you love. You deserve better and need to get help working on your self worth.
Are you serious? You’re still seeing him after he hits you can calls you a white c...??
Hell no you don’t need to give his kids money, that’s his problem.
Tell him to fk off, he’s a drunken, woman bashing POS!
It's pretty clear what you need to do! Walk away! He sounds like a drop kick - and that's being nice. Why would you be with someone who has treated you so badly???
Beautiful Queen my heart just breaks for you, to know the mindset that you are in now, to remember that this was once me.
You deserve so so much better than this! You are not worthless, you are worthy, you are not junk, you are treasure, you are not stupid, you have a world of wisdom, you are not ugly, you are a beautiful Queen!
Please leave, this is not love, this is abuse...
Many years ago I lost everything because of an abusive man. I lost my possessions, my identity and my son who was put into state care at the time.
Don't let this happen to you, don't be a statistic, don't be one of the women that we mourn over because her partner has killed her, leave.
Block, delete, get another DV order and never ever look back. There is a much brighter future waiting for you just around the corner without this man ..
Be strong Queen <3
Would you accept this behaviour for your own children? Or a family member of yours? Then why accept it for yourself! You already know what to do.
It’s not love from his side. You don’t do that to someone you love. It’s abuse. RUN!!!!
It’s not love from his side. You don’t do that to someone you love. It’s abuse. RUN!!!!
Stop being a door mat. He is pushing you around, abusing you in all fronts and you are not sure? Run honey run. I don’t know that his nationality has anything to do with it there are slime balls from every walk of life but it’s time to be real with yourself and cut this leech loose.